Sunday, April 25, 2010

APARTMENT for RENT--THIS IS TOO FUNNY ...

 
APARTMENT for RENT
THIS IS TOO FUNNY ...

 

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500.  Morning,  before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

 

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:


'Dear Madam:

 

Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

 

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

 

However, I found out that:

 

#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.'

 

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check f or $250 with the following note:

 

'Dear Sir:

 

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

 

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady...

 

 


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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

FW: WHY HUSBANDS SHOULD NOT ANSWER !!!!

 
 

WHY HUSBANDS SHOULD NOT ANSWER !!!!

 

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!

WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'

HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.

WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'

WIFE: 'You would?'

HUSBAND: .......?

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'

HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'

WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'

HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'

WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'

WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'

HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'

WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'

HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'

WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes'

HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.

WIFE: -- silence....... -

HUSBAND: 'Shit'.

 


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