Thursday, April 26, 2007

Great Civil Engineering

Mom is the Best

A very beautiful

msg for all

One liners -- Hidden meanings in Company talk

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS
1."We will do it" means "You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done
"At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will
talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help
you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you
where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything
about it"
17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?

Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?

No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.

Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Gosh, it's a miracle was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Krishan ji Kalyug main..

Tune 18 saal ki umar me mama Kans ko mara,
BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha …
Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
Mere Project Manager se ek baar baat kar ke to dikha …
Tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya
Indian Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha …
Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai,
Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha …
Tune gokul ki 1600 gopiyan patai,
Meri college ki sirf ek ladki ko pata kar to dikha …
Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dikha …

Ultimate Shayari

Yoon hum ko sataane ki zaroorat kya thi,

Dil mera jalaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Jo nahi tha ishq to keh diya hota,

Dil toor ke jaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Maloom tha gar yeh khwaab toot jayenge,

Neend mein aa kar uthaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Ishq par lagti rahegi har daur mein paabandi,

Ashiq ko majboor banaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Maan loo gar yeh yak tarfa mohabbat thi,

Mujh ko dekh kar muskuraane ki zaroorat kya thi....