Thursday, May 8, 2008

FW: mast !!!

Apne Project ke  bojh tale daba jaa raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha  hai,

zindagi se hara hua hai,

par "Bugs" se haar nahi  manata,

Apne application ki ek ek line ise rati hui hai,

par aaj  kaun se rang ke moje pehne hain , ye nahi  janata,

din par din ek  excel file banata ja raha hai

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha  hai,

das hazaar line ke code main error dhoond lete hain  lekin,

majboor dost ki ankhon ki nami dikhayi nahi deti,

pc pe  hazaar windows khuli hain,

par dil ki khidki pe koi dastak sunayi nahi  deti,

satuday-sunday nahata nahi, week days ko naha raha hai,

Wo  dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Coding karte karte pata  hi nahi chala,

bugs ki priority kab maa-baap se high ho  gayi,

kitabon main gulab rakhne wala ,

apne institute ki kisi ladki se pyaar karne  wala,

cigerette ke  dhuyen main kho gaya,

dil ki zameen se armaanon ki vidayi ho  gayi,

weekends pe daroo peke jo jashna mana raha hai,

Wo  dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

maze lena ho iske to  pooch lo,

"Salary Increment" ki party kab dila rahe ho,

hansi  udana ho to pooch lo,

"Onsite" kab ja rahe ho?

wo dekho  onsite se laute team-mate ki chocolates kha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek  Software engineer ja raha hai,

kharche badh rahe  hain,

baal kam ho rahe hain,

KRA ki date ati nahi,

Income  Tax ke sitam ho rahe hain,

lo phir se bus choot gayi, Auto se aa  raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha hai,

Pizza  gale se nahi utarta,

to "Coke" ke sahare nigal liya jata  hai,

office ki "Thali" dekh munh hai bigadta,

maa ke hath ka wo  khana baar roz yaad ata hai,

"Sprout bhel" bani hai phir bhi,  free "Evening Snacks" kha raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha  hai,

aapne ab tak li hongi bahut si chutikiya,

Software  engg. ke jivan ka sach batati ye akhri kuch panktiyan,

hazaron ki  tankhwah wala, company ki karodon ki jeb bharta hai,

software engg. wahi  ban sakta hai, jo lohe ka jigar rakhta hai,

hum log jee jee ke marte  hain , zindagi hai kuch aisi,

ek fauj ki naukri, doosri software engg. ki  , dono ek jaisi,

is kavita ka har shabd mere dil ki gehrayi se aa  raha hai,

Wo dekho ek Software engineer ja raha  hai,


 

FW: kids think quick

TEACHER    :    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA         :    Here it is!
TEACHER    :    Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS          :    Maria!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER     :    Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK          :    Because of the sign.
TEACHER     :    What sign?
FRANK          :    The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
___________________________________________________________

 


TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN       :   You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER    :   Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN         :    K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER    :    No, that's wrong
GLENN         :    Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER    :    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD      :    H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER    :    What are you talking about?
DONALD      :    Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER      : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't  have ten years ago.
WINNIE        :    Me!
___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER    :    Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS          :    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER    :    Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE    :    I is...
TEACHER    :    No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE     :    All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER    :    Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
         didn't punish  him?"
LOUIS    : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER      :  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON          :    No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER      :   Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :    No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________

 

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people  are no longer interested?
HAROLD   :     A teacher.