Sunday, April 29, 2007

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is equal to

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Hard Work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


Knowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


Love
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54%


Luck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47%

( don't most of us think this is the most important ??? )
Then what makes 100% ?Is it


Money ? ...
NO ! ! !
M+O+N+E+Y
13+15+14+5+25 = 72%


Leadership ? ...
NO ! ! !
L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P
12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89%
.
.
.
.
.
.
Every problem has a solution,
only if we perhaps change our attitude.
To go to the top,to that 100% ,what we really need to go further... a bit more...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100% ! ! !

Friday, April 27, 2007

किसी के इतने पास न जा

किसी के इतने पास न जा
के दूर जाना खौफ़ बन जाये
एक कदम पीछे देखने पर
सीधा रास्ता भी खाई नज़र आये
किसी को इतना अपना न बना
कि उसे खोने का डर लगा रहे
इसी डर के बीच एक दिन ऐसा न आये
तु पल पल खुद को ही खोने लगे
किसी के इतने सपने न देख
के काली रात भी रन्गीली लगे
आन्ख खुले तो बर्दाश्त न हो
जब सपना टूट टूट कर बिखरने लगे
किसी को इतना प्यार न कर
के बैठे बैठे आन्ख नम हो जाये
उसे गर मिले एक दर्द
इधर जिन्दगी के दो पल कम हो जाये
किसी के बारे मे इतना न सोच
कि सोच का मतलब ही वो बन जाये
भीड के बीच भीलगे
तन्हाई से जकडे गये
किसी को इतना याद न कर
कि जहा देखो वोही नज़र आये
राह देख देख कर कही ऐसा न हो
जिन्दगी पीछे छूट जाये

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Great Civil Engineering











Mom is the Best



A very beautiful


msg for all















One liners -- Hidden meanings in Company talk

Today's Professional Management FUNDAS
1."We will do it" means "You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the
same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done
"At least not tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will
talk later"
8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually
fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help
you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you
where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything
about it"
17."All the Best" means "You are in trouble"

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations


10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-

Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-

Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..


2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-

Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-

No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.


3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-

Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-

Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.


6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.


7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.


8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!


Krishan ji Kalyug main..

Tune 18 saal ki umar me mama Kans ko mara,
BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha …
Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,
Mere Project Manager se ek baar baat kar ke to dikha …
Tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaaya
Indian Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha …
Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai,
Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha …
Tune gokul ki 1600 gopiyan patai,
Meri college ki sirf ek ladki ko pata kar to dikha …
Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dikha …

Ultimate Shayari

Yoon hum ko sataane ki zaroorat kya thi,

Dil mera jalaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Jo nahi tha ishq to keh diya hota,

Dil toor ke jaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Maloom tha gar yeh khwaab toot jayenge,

Neend mein aa kar uthaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Ishq par lagti rahegi har daur mein paabandi,

Ashiq ko majboor banaane ki zaroorat kya thi.

Maan loo gar yeh yak tarfa mohabbat thi,

Mujh ko dekh kar muskuraane ki zaroorat kya thi....

Saturday, April 21, 2007

PARDESH

मेरे मन ये बता दे तू
किस ओर चला है तू ?
क्या पाया नहीं तूने ?
क्या ढ़ूंढ़ रहा है तू ?

जो है अनकही , जो है अनसुनी, वो बात क्या है बता ?
मितवा ऽऽऽऽऽऽ, कहें धड़कनें तुझसे क्या, मितवा ऽऽऽऽऽऽऽऽऽ, ये खुद से तो ना तू छुपा

जीवन डगर में, प्रेम नगर में
आया नजर में जब से कोई है
तू सोचता है! तू पूछता है !
जिसकी कमी थी, क्या ये वही है ?
हाँ ये वही है, हाँ ये वही है ऽऽऽऽऽऽऽऽ
तू इक प्यासा और ये नदी हैऽऽऽ
काहे नहीं, इसको तू, खुल के बताये
जो है अनकही .................ना तू छुपा

तेरी निगाहें पा गयी राहें
पर तू ये सोचे जाऊँ ना जाऊँ
ये जिंदगी जो, है नाचती तो
क्यूँ बेड़ियों में हैं तेरे पाँव?
प्रीत की धुन पर नाच ले पागलऽऽऽऽ
उड़ता अगर है, उड़ने दे आंचलऽ
काहे कोई, अपने को, ऐसे तरसाए
जो है अनकही .................ना तू छुपा
प्रीत की लत मोहे ऐसी लागी
हो गई मैं मतवारी
बलि बलि जाऊँ अपने पिया को
कि मैं जाऊँ वारी वारी
मोहे सुध बुध ना रही तन मन की
ये तो जाने दुनिया सारी
बेबस और लाचार फिरूँ मैं
हारी मैं दिल हारी..हारी मैं दिल हारी..

तेरे नाम से जी लूँ, तेरे नाम से मर जाऊँ..
तेरे जान के सदके में कुछ ऐसा कर जाऊँ
तूने क्या कर डाला ,मर गई मैं, मिट गई मैं
हो री...हाँ री..हो गई मैं दीवानी दीवानी

इश्क जुनूं जब हद से बढ़ जाए
हँसते-हँसते आशिक सूली चढ़ जाए
इश्क का जादू सर चढ़कर बोले
खूब लगा दो पहरे, रस्ते रब खोले
यही इश्क दी मर्जी है, यही रब दी मर्जी है,
तूने क्या कर डाला ,मर गई मैं, मिट गई मैं
हो री...हाँ री..हो गई मैं दीवानी दीवानी

कि मैं रंग-रंगीली दीवानी
कि मैं अलबेली मैं मस्तानी
गाऊँ बजाऊँ सबको रिझाऊँ
कि मैं दीन धरम से बेगानी
की मैं दीवानी, मैं दीवानी

तेरे नाम से जी लूँ, तेरे नाम से मर जाऊँ..
तेरे जान के सदके में कुछ ऐसा कर जाऊँ
तूने क्या कर डाला ,मर गई मैं, मिट गई मैं
हो री...हाँ री..हो गई मैं दीवानी दीवानी

OMKARA

ना गिलाफ, ना लिहाफ
ठंडी हवा भी खिलाफ ससुरी
इतनी सर्दी है किसी का लिहाफ लइ ले
ओ जा पड़ोसी के चूल्हे से आग लइ ले
बीड़ी जलइ ले, जिगर से पिया
जिगर मा बड़ी आग है...

धुआँ ना निकारी ओ लब से पिया, अह्हा
धुआँ ना निकारी ओ लब से पिया
ये दुनिया बड़ी घाघ है
बीड़ी जलइ ले, जिगर से पिया
जिगर मा बड़ी आग है...

ना कसूर, ना फतूर
बिना जुलुम के हुजूर
मर गई, हो मर गई,
ऐसे इक दिन दुपहरी बुलाई लियो रे
बाँध घुंघरू कचहरी लगाइ लियो रे
बुलाई लियो रे बुलाई लियो रे
लगाई लियो रे कचहरी
अंगीठी जरई ले, जिगर से पिया
जिगर मा बड़ी आग है....

ना तो चक्कुओं की धार
ना दराती ना कटार
ऐसा काटे कि दाँत का निशान छोड़ दे
जे कटाई तो कोई भी किसान छोड़ दे
ओ ऐसे जालिम का छोड़ दे मकान छोड़ दे
रे बिल्लो, जालिम का छोड़ दे मकान छोड़ दे

ना बुलाया, ना बताया
मारे नींद से जगाया हाए रे
ऐसा चौंकी की हाथ में नसीब आ गया
वो इलयची खिलई के करीब आ गया

कोयला जलइ ले, जिगर से पिया
जिगर मा बड़ी आग है

वो लोग बहुत खुशकिस्मत थे

वो लोग बहुत खुशकिस्मत थे
जो इश्क को काम समझते थे
या काम से आशिकी करते थे
हम जीते जी मशरूफ* रहे
कुछ इश्क किया कुछ काम किया
काम इश्क के आड़े आता रहा
और इश्क से काम उलझता रहा
फिर आखिर तंग आकर हमने
दोनों को अधूरा छोड़ दिया

ये चाँद भी क्या हसीं सितम ढाता है
बचपन में मामा और जवानी में सनम नजर आता है
ऐ चाँद खूबसूरत !
ऐ आसमां के तारे
तुम मेरे संग जमीं पर थोड़ी सी रात गुजारो
कुछ अपनी तुम कहो
कुछ लो मेरी खबर
हो जाए दोस्ती कट जाए ये सफर
आदमी बुलबुला है पानी का
और पानी की बहती सतह पर टूटता भी है डूबता भी है
फिर उभरता है फिर से बहता है
ना समंदर निगल सका इसको , ना तवारीख तोड़ पाई है
वक्त की मौज पर सदा बहता
आदमी बुलबुला है पानी का
क्या बतायें कि जां गई कैसे ?
फिर से दोहरायें वो घड़ी कैसे ?

किसने रस्ते में चाँद रखा था
मुझको ठोकर वहाँ लगी कैसे ?

वक्त पे पाँव कब रखा हमने
जिंदगी मुँह के बल गिरी कैसे ?

आँख तो भर गई थी पानी से
तेरी तसवीर जल गई कैसे ?

हम तो अब याद भी नहीं करते
आपको हिचकी लग गई कैसे ?
तुम इतना जो मुस्करा रहे हो
क्या गम है जिसको छुपा रहे हो

आँखों में नमी हँसी लबों पर
क्या हाल है क्या दिखा रहे हो

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Hindi Panktiyan


Appraisal report from PL

Dear Manager (HR),
Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in hi s field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader

NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote thereport sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) for my true assessment of him

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A troublesome User

Dear Tech Support Team,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever
selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User,
This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! !

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files
from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support) ..

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"
to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryBeautyful 3.3. This application is not supported by
Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support ...

Wednesday, April 4, 2007