Wednesday, July 9, 2008

FW: Conversation between lovers...ultimate.. must read...

Singhu bhaiya.......yeh sach to nhi h naa......
bura mat manna koi b :-)

THIS IS A TYPICAL CONVERSATION b/w Lovers


Note: Conversation ke beech, within brackets jo hai, woh.. ladka apne aap se
keh raha hai

She Gives a missed call to him....and he calls her back..

She: Hello!

He: (are yaar...pata nahi aaj kya bore karegi ) Hi ...kya baat hai..?

She: kuch nahi...bas aise hi phone kiya...

He: ( Call kaha kiya?.. khali missed call to diya hai... ) oh...ok ..kya kar
rahi thi meri jaanu??

She: abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya...tum kya kar rahe the?

He: mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam hua.. ab...."Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon"
sun raha hu FM par....

She: nice song..

(And then she hums a line from the song "Hum Tum")


He: ( Saala waha koi chipkali 'kich kich' kar rahi hai ya .... ) hey!!!! tum
itni achchi gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nahi tha

She: *giggles*

He: Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls!

She: yaha sab so rahe hai...agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge..

He: ( Correct...woh yeh samjhenge ki koi bhootni hai  ... ) Come on! Please!

She: hat ...I don't sing that well

He: (  yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... :-) ) It was really sweet. Please
gaao na dear

She: mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan

He: aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu...gaao na
She: tumhi keh sakte ho...

He: ( mai? saala mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola ) abhi tum
gaaogi ya nahi?

She: kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho?
He: Sigh! Ok

She: I don't have that great a voice

He: ( saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke.. ) hmmmm

She: theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek
hai??

He: ( aur kya kya jhelna padega malum nahi.. ) Great!!!!

She: kaunsa gaana gaau ?

He: ( tum kuch bhi gaao...meri to aaj neend haraam hai.. )Hmmmm. 'Mahiya'
from Awarapan?

She: Nice song. But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai

He: ( Text book chodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol... ) Dhoom Machale?

She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi
He: ( Tum koi bhi gaana gaao....mere kaan to pakne waale hai ) Cool


(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)


She: Nahi jaan. I am feeling very shy!

He: Gaao na...pls gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana
chahta hoon

She: dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho

He: ( Maalum pada na  ... phir..: ) )No no. Tum shy feel kar rahi ho
na....is liye... Trying to make u cool

She: Hmmm

He: please gaao na darling

She: main kal gaau?

He: ( Haaaaa...jaan bachi... Phut leta hoon... ) theek hai jaisi tumhaari
merzi

She: Hmmm

He: Good night

She: Good night

She: Sweet Dreams.. Take care...

He: Sweets dreams to u too...


After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a
missed call),,,,


She: Hey..sogaye the kya?

He: ( nahi...current ka aavishkaar kar raha tha... ) nahi jaan.

She: kya kar rahe ho?

He: ( raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai... ) Match dekh raha tha
She: theek hai tum match dekho

He: ( us wakt se main kya bhajiya tal raha tha... ) Hey it's ok... purani
match hai.

She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing?


(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)


He: (Bad ah? this was the luckiest day in my life, since you didn't sing
:- ) Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable
first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi..... So, me waiting..
(maine to socha tha ki aaj bachgaya....dhat teriki :-()


She sings 1 stanza from the song

'Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....'


He: Wow. Too good!

She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai

He: ( shukr hai self realization hai... :-)... ) nahi darling you really
sing well.

She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho

He: ( very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya..... ) Che! Che! teri voice
agar itni buri hoti to main ab tak na sun raha hota

She: Hmmmm...theek hai. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao..

He: ( tera gaana sunne ke baad neend kaise aayegi.. ) Good night!

She: Take care

He: You too

She: Hey....

He: ( are yaar..aaj ye nahi chodegi ,,, ) kya hai sweety? .

She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi...
He: ( tu apni voice khud record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar )
sachchi... Of course.

She: sirf jhoot

He: ( iski toh... agar ab mujhe sone nahi diya toh...... ) Not at all. You
sing very well

She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night.
 

He: Good Night!!




The Great Sardars are back with a bang .....................]

 1. Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I dont know who is Jayanti.

2. Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : YOu said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.

3. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

4. Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

5. On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

6. Doctor to patient : YOu will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die.
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

7. Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

8. Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

9. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

10. Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

11. Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

12 . American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

13. How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

 

FW: Three mesmerizing words.....

"10th Grade"

As I sat there in English class,

I stared at the girl next to me.

She was my so called 'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair,

and wished she was mine.

But she didn't notice me like that,

and I knew it. After class,

she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her.

She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her,

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"11th grade"

The phone rang. On the other end,

it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.

She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone,

So I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.

 She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

 I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don t know why.

 

"Senior year"

One fine day she walked to my locker.

"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go" well,

I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,

we made a promise that if nei ther of us had dates,

we would go together just as 'best friends'.

So we did. That night, after everything was over,

I was standing at her front door step.

I stared at her as She smiled at me

and stared at me with her crystal eyes.

Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"

and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"Graduation"

A day passed, then a week, then a month.

Before I could blink, it was graduation day.

I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.

I wanted her to be mine - but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat,

and cried as I hugged her.

Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks'

and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

 I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"Marriage"

Now I sit in the pews of the church.

That girl is getting married now.

and drive off to her new life, married to another man.

I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.

But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'.

She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"Death"

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.

At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.

This is what it read:

"I stare at him wishing he was mine;

but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it.

I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me ! "


.......'I wish I did too.' I thought to my self, and I cried
.

 

"Do yourself a favour, tell your loved ones that you love them"

 

 

One Of The Best Mail I'hv Got......

One Of The Best Mail I'hv Got......



 A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st
Grade class. Madam asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"



Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th
Grade!"



Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy
waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the
situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if
he failed to answer any of his

questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.



the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.







Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy.: "9".





Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy.: "36".





And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should
know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to
the 4th grade."



Madam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.



Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.





Madam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of"?



Boy, after a moment "Legs."





Madam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"



Boy.: "Pockets."







Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,

delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?



Boy.: Coconut





Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?



The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy was taking charge.



Boy.: Bubblegum





Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog
does on three legs?



The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...



Boy.: Shake hands







Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get
wet before you do.



Boy.: Tent







Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best
man always has me first.



The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.



Boy.: Wedding Ring





Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,
you feel good.



Boy.: Nose







Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.



Boy.: Arrow





Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat
and excitement?



Boy.: Firetruck







Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it, u
have to use urhand.



Boy.: Fork







Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on
others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after
they're married?



Boy.: SURNAME.





Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins,
like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?



Boy.: HEART.







The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,



"Send this Boy to

IIM AHEMEDABAD,

I got the last ten questions wrong myself!".

Sick Leave

SICK LEAVE

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss
would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I
acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told
her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss
would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked
"What are you doing ?" I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate
for a Couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker
(the Blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her, "And where do
you think You're going?"



    (You're gonna love this...)


She said,
"I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

BEAUTY OF MATHS

Enjoy the beauty of maths.....

 

Beauty of Math!                     

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321



Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:


What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23 + 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E- O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there
, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


It's up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just the way I did.