Good one

Good morning

Good morning..~~~~

FW: Badnaam Shayar

 

Teri doli uthi,

Meri mayyat uthi,

Phool tujh par bhi barse,

Phool mujh par bhi barse,

 

 

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

 

Tu saj gayi,

Mujhe sajaya gaya ,

Tu bhi ghar ko chali,

Main bi ghar ko chala,

 

 

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

 

 

Tu uth ke gayi,

Mujhe uthaya gaya ,

Mehfil wahan bhi thi,

Log yahan bhi the,

 

 

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

 

Unka hasna wahan,

Inka rona yahan,

Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,

 

Do bol tere pade, Do bol mere pade,

 Tera nikah pada, Mera janaaza pada,

 

FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA,

 

 

Tujhe apnaya gaya ,

Mujhe dafnaya gaya .

NOW THIS IS Why I didnt take GRE !!

A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
GRE STUDENT : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck
GRE STUDENT : Neophyte's serendipity.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
GRE STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
GRE STUDENT : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
GRE STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
GRE STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
>>*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap
GRE STUDENT : Surveillance should precede saltation.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best
GRE STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
GRE STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!
GRE STUDENT : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.

Cool One Liners

| Cool One Liners |   If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for  patience.     ....... I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.   ....... I talk to myself because I like dealing with a  better class of people.   ....... Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.   ....... Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.   ....... Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.   ........ A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.   ....... By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who  thinks he's usually wrong.   ....... Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them,  we wouldn't have.   ....... There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.   ....... Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.   ....... There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.   ....... An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.   ....... When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.   ....... Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.   ....... They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

 

SWEETS AT MY DESK.!

 

 

SWEETS AT MY DESK…!
 
Subha Utha , Nahaya ..Mast Deo Lagaya...
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya...
 
Muskurahat Ka Karan Tha , Kya Sapna Liya Tha Raat Ko
Main Company Ka Ceo Aur My Dream Girl Was My Pmo.
 
Mann To Kiyan So Jaon, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun...
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain Office Mein, Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun...
 
Goggles Lagaya Style Mein, Sutta Niptaya,
Bike Kiya Self Start, Accelerater Maara
 
Pahooncha Office...Card Swipe Kara..
Khola Pc ....Lotus Notes Top Par Mail Uska Paaya....
 
Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya..
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..
 
Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ...Not Again..Same Words..."Sweets At My Desk"
 
Darte Darte Khola Mail...Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya...
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya...Mandraya Kala Saaya...
 
Dukhi Mann Se Socha ...Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padd Le..
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka...Details Se Rubaru To Ho Le...
 
Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya...Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya..
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya...Dil Ko Ncr Report Acha Aaya...
 
Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli..
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli...
 
Bhujti Hui Low Phir Phadphadai...
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee.
 
Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Aur....
Ab Sirf Uskee Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More..
 
Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko..
Dekhte Hee Usne Bola ..Lo Dear, Sweets Lo..
 
Humne Suna "Dear" , Humne Kaha Ab No Fear.
Kiya Jhuki Aankhon Se Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweats Ka Apna Share..
 
"Dear" Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha....
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka Loc Ab Mitne Laga Tha...
 
Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se Chida Kargil Tha..
 
Phir Se Low Bhuj Gayee Thi, Umeed Mit Gayee Thi ...
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi...
 
Maa Kasam Ek Hi Gaana Yaad Aa Raha Tha Cham Se...
Kasam Ki Kasam , Yeh Pyaar Na Hoga Ab Humse...
 
O Haseeno Sun Lo Meri Iltaaja,
Please Mat Hona Humse Khafa,
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaaye Ab Na Hoga Adjust,
Ab Mat Daalna Mail With Subject "Sweets At My Desk"

 

Best One..!!

Humne jo apne gam aapko de diye hote,
Aapne to apne hosh kho diye hote,
Yeh to hum hain jo is haal main muskurate hain,
Aap hote to kab ke ro diye hote !!!

Shayari for you

Ya khuda maaf karna tere is gunehgaar bande ko,
Jo tumhari chamatkaar me dakhil hota hai,
Sirf ye puchne ke liye aaya hu mein,
Ke kyu har raat ko mera dil rota hai...

 

 Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahi ja sakta,
Zeher Dushman se liya nahi ja sakta,
Dil mein basi hai ulfat jis pyar ki
us ke bina jiya nahi ja sakta.

 

Shaam Hote Hi Chiragon Ko Bujha Deta Hoon
Yeh Dil Hi Kaafi Hai Teri Yaad Main Jalne Ke Liye

 

Kaise kahe ke aap kitni khubsurat hai,
Kaise kahe ke hum aap pe marte hai,
Yeh to sirf mera dil hi janta hai,
Ke hum aap pe hamari jawani qurban karte hai...

 

 

khoobsoorat ho tum kisi phool ki tarah...
aankhein hain tumhari kisi hirni ki tarah...
chahek hai tum mein kisi chiriya ki...
mehek hai tum mein kisi gulaab ki...
dua karte hain hum rab se sada...
yun hi barkarar rahe hamesha tumhari har ada... 

 

3 KEYS FOR BEST LIFE

3 KEYS FOR BEST LIFE::- CONFIDENCE: Once all villager decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an Umbrella that's confidence.. ......... TRUST: Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air , he laughs...... Because he knows You will catch him........ HOPE: Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning but still ........... You have plans for the coming day. So KEEP CONFIDENCE; TRUST OTHERS AND NEVER LOSE HOPES

 

Three Parrots

 

Three Parrots
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.  
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.  

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

 
 
 
 

	The owner said it was Rs.250. Rs.250, the man said.   "Well what does he do? "He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.  "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
	The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied,Rs.500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.
	Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, "Rs.1,000." Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs.1,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was. The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!
 
HOWS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Read with smile

Proud to be Engineer!!!

 

Proud to be Engineer!!  

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.So both groups gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.


SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes
Away....

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So
they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can
easily get a LOCAL to PUNE



SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA):
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All
7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives....

ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand
comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in Engg. Bathroo! m... TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.


SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA):!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their
move for last chance, they board the loc al to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.

ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ...................

Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train...........


Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don't mess with Engineers.

 

 

 

 

FW: From The Top of the Burj

see this stuff………………….
This is taken from world's tallest building "Burj Dubai" @ 2,620 ft / 801m!!!
What do you think …………………

Really amazing

Look at the edge (uppermost right corner) of the picture, you can almost see the "turn" of the earth

We cannot feel the turn of earth…….

But the persons who are working on the upper most Girders can see the "ROTATION OF EARTH"

So terrifying…..

Mechanical Engineer's Wedding Rings...

Dhakka laga do !!

 

Raat ke 2 baje patni apne pati ko gahri neend se jagati hai.

"Sunoji! Koi darwaje par hai!"

"Itni raat gaye kaun aa gaya? Theek hai, dekhta hoon."

Pati uth kar darwaje tak jaata hai aur usey kholta hai. Dekhta hai ki ek
sharaabi moosladhaar baarish mein khada hai.

Sharaabi bola, "Bhai sahab! Jara dhakka laga doge?"

"Dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai?" pati bhadka, "Raat ke 2 baj rahe hain!"

Pati darwaza jor se band karta hai aur wapis bistar par aa kar let jaata
hai.

"Kaun tha?" patni ne poocha.

"Koi sharaabi tha. Dhakka lagane ko bol raha tha."

"Tumne kiya?" wo boli.

"Nahin! Raat ke 2 baj rahe hain aur baahar itni tez baarish ho rahi
hai!"

"Lagta hai tum apna samay bhool gaye. Yaad karo jab teen mahine pahle
hamari gaadi kharaab ho gayi thi aur un do aadmiyon ne hamari madad ki
thi.
Mere khyal se tumhein uski madad karni chahiye."

"Tum sahi kah rahi ho. Mujhe sharm aani chahiye. Main abhi baahar jaa
kar uski madad karta hoon."

Pati dhuandhar baarish mein ghar se bahar nikalta hai. Andhere mein wo
us sharaabi ko dhoondta hai.

"Hello! O bhai shahab! Aap abhi bhi yehan ho?"

"Haan" ek kone se aawaz aayi.

 

"Kya tumhein abhi bhi dhakka lagwana hai?" pati bola.

"Haan! Shukriya.!" andhere kone se sharaabi ki aawaz aayi.

 

 

"Tum ho kahan?" pati ne poocha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yehan! Idhar is jhoole par."eID:NT0000  

 

 

 

 

 

Jaat

जाट करै ना दोस्ती, जाट करै ना प्यार
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

चुगलखोर और दुतेड़े दुश्मन इनके खास
चाहे पायां पड़े रहो, कोन्यां आवैं रास
जाट मोहब्बत का भूखा, प्यारा दे सै मार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

अपनी औरत को भाळै, पीटै बेशक रोझ
पर और कोए कुछ बोल दे, मिटा दे उसका खोज
इसकी नफरत और प्रेम का पावै कोन्या पार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

मुंह की अपनी काढ दे, जै कोए आवै मदद करण
मरौड़ कसूती सै धिखे, जिब्बै दे दे जान
जी मैं आवै वो-ए करैगा, कोन्यां मानै हार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

ऊपर तैं जणूं पाथर हो, भीतर जणूं गुलाब
एक मिनट में साळा कह दे, चाहे साहमी हो नवाब !
इसकी माया न्यारी सै, यो लाम्बी करै उडार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

भेल्ली दे दे, ना दे गंडा, इसका इसा मिजान
रूस ग्या तै रूस ग्या, कोन्यां जा मुंह-काण
भगवानां नै मान ली, कई बै इस तैं हार
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

shayari

भीगी आँखों से मुस्कराने में मज़ा और है,

हसते हँसते पलके भीगने में मज़ा और है,

बात कहके तो कोई भी समझलेता है,

पर खामोशी कोई समझे तो मज़ा और है...!

मुस्कराना ही ख़ुशी नहीं होती,

उम्र बिताना ही ज़िन्दगी नहीं होती,

दोस्त को रोज याद करना पड़ता है,

क्योकि दोस्त कहना ही दोस्ती नहीं होती.

 

आपके पास दोस्तों का खजाना है,

पर ये दोस्त आपका पुराना है,

इस दोस्त को भुला ना देना कभी..

क्यूँ की ये दोस्त आपकी दोस्ती का दीवाना है

Shayaries

Apni to mohabbat ki itni kahani hai,
Tooti hui kashti or tehhra hua pani hai,

Ek phool kitabon may dam tor chuka hai,
Magar kuch yaad nahi aata yeh kis ki nishani hai.



~~~~~~~~~



PathaR ki hai Duniya, jazbat nahi samajti,
Dil me kya hai Wo baat nai samjti,

Tanha to Chand b hai sitaro ke bich,
magar Chand ka Dard Bewafa Raat nahi samjhati



~~~~~~~~~



Hamari khushi ki baghwan se fariyad na karna,
bhula dena mujko kabhi tum yad na karna,

kiya barbad tune mujhe ye meri badnasibi thi,
iltaza hai kisi aur ko yun barbad na karna....



~~~~~~~~~



Kabhi ro k muskraye, kabi muskra k roe
Uski yaad jab b ayi, ushe bhula k roe,

Ek uska hi nam tha, jise hazar bar likha,
jitna likh k kush hue, usse jiyada mita k roe

 

The Corporate language !!

The Corporate language !! "We will do it" means " You will do it" "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you" "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same" "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !". "After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do" "There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied" "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later" "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time" "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time." "We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought" "Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me" "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!" "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is" "Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected" means "Well you know..." "We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed" "That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it" "All the Best" means " You are in trouble"

 

Sardar Jokes!!

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine". Sardar thinks "how poetic"...........!!!! Sardar says, "pass the custard you ba---rd". *********************************************** Sardar at bar in New York . Man on his right says "Johny Walker single" Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married" *********************************************** Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? how much is DRIVING salary...? *********************************************** Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during  the day when light is not needed!!! *********************************************** 2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO... *********************************************** Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.... ****************************** ***************** Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks. He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks. He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion...... ...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......" *********************************************** A Tamilian call up sardar and asks  " tamil therima??" Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!" *********************************************** 2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy. Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!.... *********************************************** A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective. Interviewer : who killed Gandhi? Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating....... *********************************************** A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read:  AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR. *********************************************** Interviewar: what s ur qualification? Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d. Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d? Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.... *********************************************** Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows? Sardar : liquid state..... Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind,  ALL WERE SARDARS.......