Wednesday, June 10, 2009

MUST READ HINDUSTAN...HAMARI...PEHCHAAN

AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA





WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM




HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY



THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY




WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY

AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES..

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED


HOW DID U FIND INDIANS??



INDIANS??


WHO INDIANS??


I DIDNT FIND OR MET A SINGLE INDIAN


THERE IN INDIA.



WHAT NONSENSE??


WHO ELSE COULD U MET IN INDIA THEN??




THE AMERICAN SAID



IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI


IN PUNJAB A PANJABI


IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, RAJASTHAN, BENGAL,TAMILNADU,KERALA


BIHARI,MARATHI, MARWADI, BENGALI,TAMILIAN, MALAYALI



THEN I MET


A MUSLIM,


A HINDU


A CHRISTIAN,


A JAIN,


A BUDDHIST



AND MANY MANY MANY MORE



BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET




THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS



THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD


BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME


REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT ....



FIGHT BACK -



ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN


JAI HIND

To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be



WOMAN ARE SO SIMPLE!!!

AGREE???

To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. A friend

2. A companion

3. A lover

4. A brother

5. A father

6. A master

7. A chef

8. An electrician

9.. A carpenter

10. A plumber

11. A mechanic

12.. A decorator

13. A stylist

16. A psychologist

17. A pest exterminator

18. A psychiatrist

19. A healer

20. A good listener

21. An organizer

22. A good father

23. Very clean

24. Sympathetic

25. Athletic

26. Warm

27. Attentive

28. Gallant

29. Intelligent

30. Funny

31. Creative

32. Tender

33. Strong

34. Understanding

35. Tolerant

36. Prudent

37. Ambitious

38. Capable

39. Courageous

40. Determined

41. True

42. Dependable

43. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. Give her compliments regularly

45. Love shopping

46.. be honest

47. be very rich

48. Not stress her out

49. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. To never forget:

Birthdays

Anniversaries

Arrangements she makes


& HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Leave him alone

.

__,_._,___


100% -- Good One


A simple & meaningful message.....


A Small Stor y


A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed .


The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised .


That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble .


Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully .


"GOOD ADVICE IS PRICELESS; IF NOT FOLLOWED, IT IS WORTHLESS."


HAVE A BLESSED DAY!


Smart Investing.....Ignore Ulips & Dual Schemes (Insurance + Investment)

Time is money, goes the saying, which holds true in almost all aspects of life. But, it is more so in case of savings. If you start saving early, by the time you retire, you will have enough money to lead a prosperous retired life.

In fact, when you start saving early, your saved amount get a longer time to earn returns. This makes a lot of difference.

Take for example, if you start savings at the age of 25-year, or just at the time when you get your first salary, your savings of Rs 5000 per month at a conservative return of 10% per annum will swell to Rs 1.91 crore in 35 years or by the time you retire at the age of 60 year

But, if you start savings late, say, at the age of 30-year, your saving of Rs 5000 per month will become only Rs 1.14 crore.

If you start at the age of 35 year, the same savings will become only Rs 67 lakh. Not only this, at the age of 35 years, even if you start savings double the amount i.e. Rs 10,000 per month, by the time of retirement, the amount will become only Rs 1.34 crore.

This is called power of compounding. At the rate of 10%, a savings of Rs 5,000 per month becomes Rs 3,90,412 after 5 years.

That means, by then your saved amount will earn around Rs 39,000 per annum, which is around 65% of the amount that you are savings.

In 10 years, your savings swell to Rs 10,32,760, whose earnings itself will be more than 1.7 times of your monthly savings. That means, by the age of 35 year, your savings will earn more than your monthly savings.

After 25 years, your savings becomes Rs 67 lakh and contribute Rs 6.70 lakh in your net net saved amount every year thereafter, which is more than 11 times of your savings. So, if you will give more time to grow your money, more you will be benefited.

The other factor, which will decide your maturity amount, is the rate of return your money will earn. However, if you start savings early, that means, you are planning to do it for long term, you can think of investing in equities through unit linked savings schemes of insurance companies, or through mutual funds.

the long term, Indian economy is likely to grow at 7% to 8% per annum. In nominal term at an inflation rate of 5%, this will translate to a growth rate of 12% to 13%.

If it is so, the good companies should also manage to grow at around the same rate or two to three percentage points more than that in a longer horizon of 10 years to 15 years.

However, there could be some churn in between, which fund manager should be able to track and can give you a return of around 12% in the long term. The another positive aspect of investing in equity is that it is tax-free, which also help increase your return.

However, if you invest in debt funds, your return will be in the range of 9%, which will be reduced to around 6.7% post tax.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Woman in life ...MUST REAd FULLY

This is a beautiful article:
The woman in your life...very well expressed...


Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late
from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most
importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

I hope you will do....

Chinese Call Center

A Chinese Call center:

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak
to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But
what's this urgent matter
about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe
Wan was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on
his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time
for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh .....God.... ...


From --
Good Wan!
J

The Woman In Your Life







This is a beautiful article sent by my very good FRIEND:
T
he woman in your life...very well expressed...


Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than ?you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
? ? Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while
whendeadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......


SOME FACTS ABOUT GUYS!!!




33 Facts about Guyz
*really very true...................


Girls r surely going to read it


*Belive it or not.......
1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat
and presentable girls.


2. Guys hate flirts.

3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not
thinking the way he is.

4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about .


5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics.


6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".
... so true.


10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

11. Guys love their moms.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple
of roses.

13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her.


14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.


17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

18. Guys are very open about themselves.

19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long.


20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty.


22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.

23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases
you.


24. Guys keep secrets that girls tell them.

25. Guys think too much.

26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight
does! ... very true.


28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!


29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.


30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.


31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

32. Guys hate girls who overreact.

33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your
relationships.
Doesn't this all make sense?




SEND THIS TO ALL GIRLS SO THAT THEY CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND
GUYS


SEND THIS TO GUYS TO LET THEM KNOW THEMSELVES MORE......


Tension

TENSION

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,

Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.

Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le gaye,

Doctor bola – aap baap banne wale ho

Aapko TENSION !!

Aap bole – Mai iska baap nahi !

Phir ladki se pucha

Ladki boli – yehi baap hai.

Aapko aur TENSION.

Phir police ayi

Aapka medical check up hua.

Report aayi.

Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.

Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !

Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai

Wo kiske hai…????????

Aapko Phir TENSION !!!!!! J

Awesome Jumbling of words


This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!





DILIP VENGSARKAR

When you rearrange the letters:

SPARKLING DRIVE



PRINCESS DIANA

When you rearrange the letters:

END IS A CAR SPIN


MONICA LEWINSKY

When you rearrange the letters:

NICE SILKY WOMAN



DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM




ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER





DESPERATION

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT



THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE



A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE



AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:



MOTHER-IN-LAW:


When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER


DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Is it all about an extra bedroom?????????

Every person those who r far away from their parents for jobs should have to read this hearttouching mail !!!



ONE BEDROOM FLAT...

WRITTEN BY AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER..
A
Bitter Reality


As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in
Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA , the
land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA , it
was as if a dream had come true.


Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I
would be staying in this country for about Five years in which
time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India .

My father was a government employee and after his retirement,
the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.


I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling
homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and
speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone
cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and
pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have
only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.
Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for
all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be
talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through
all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting
shorter I was forced to select one candidate.


In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get
married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After
the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some
money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after
them, we returned to USA .


My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she
started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India
increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our
savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to
have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us
by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked
me to come to Indiaso that they can see their grand-children.


Every year I decide to go to India … But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting
Indiawas a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a
message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I
couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The
next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there
was no one to do the last rights the society members had done
whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed
away without seeing their grand children.


After couple more years passed away, much to my children's
dislike and my wife's joy we returned to Indiato settle down.
I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my
savings were short and the property prices had gone up during
all these years. I had to return to the USA ...


My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to
stay in India ... My 2 children and I returned to USAafter
promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an
American and my son was happy living in USA ... I decided that
had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India ... I
had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a
well-developed locality.


Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is
for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife
has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes

I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India ,

Had a house to his name and I too have
the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.
This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these
children are losing their values and culture because of it. I
get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well
at least they remember me.


Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will
be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question
still
remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……..
START LIVING IT …….
LIVE ITAS YOU WANT IT TO BE …….


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

21 Advices For Better Life....



ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.





THREE
. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.





FOUR
. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.




FIVE
. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.




SIX
. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.




SEVEN
. Believe in love at first sight.




EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.





NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.



TEN..
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.



ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.


TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.




THIRTEEN! .
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'



FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.



FIFTEEN.
Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.



SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.



SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.




EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.



NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.



TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.




TWENTY- ONE.
Spend some time alone.





Friday, February 6, 2009

FW: Current Situation In IT industries

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. 
Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "Someone may steal from it at night." 
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

 Then Ruling Party XYZ  Said..
- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction? " 
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., 
- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" 
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. , 
- "How are these people going to get paid?" 
So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., 
- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" 
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., 
- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." 

 
 So they lay off the night watchman

Moral of the story: 
"
Current Situation In IT industries"

 

 

Monday, February 2, 2009

Last Evacuation Drill !!!

 

XYZ Office -> A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees are in office(approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within
3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins passed..................................5 more mins passed.

Security Officer -> Announcement started, "Dear Employees - With melting  heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a
last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee. While  moving in who-so-ever ID card won't work are lay off & all their
belongings will be couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this  approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in
thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office". Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in & try your luck.