Thursday, June 18, 2009

CDC - Medical Alert

cid:image001.jpg@01C9D3B9.ED1D2310
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract
(WINE)and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

CAN YOU BEAT THIS RESUME ???



RESUME

EDUCATION / Qualification:

· 1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Punjab University, Chandigarh

· 1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Punjab University , Chandigarh ,

· 1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College, Cambridge,

· 1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge ,

· 1957; DPhil ( Oxford ), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India 's export competitiveness

OCCUPATION / Teaching Experience:

· Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59;

· Reader, Economics, 1959-63;

· Professor, Economics, Punjab University , Chandigarh , 1963-65;

· Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi,1969-71

· Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University ,New Delhi,1976 and Delhi

· School of Economics, University of Delhi ,1996 and Civil Servant

Working Experience / POSITIONS::

· 1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade

· 1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance

· 1976-80: Director, Reserve Bank of India

· Director, Industrial Development Bank of India;

· Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, Asian Development Bank;

· Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD

· November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of economic affairs);

· Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space Commission

· April 1980 - September 15, 1982 : Member-secretary, Planning Commission

· 1980-83: Chairman , India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee

· September 16, 1982 - January 14, 1985 : Governor, Reserve Bank of India .

· 1982-85: Alternate Governor for India Board of governors, International Monetary Fund

· 1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister

· 1985: President, Indian Economic Association

· January 15, 1985 - July 31, 1987 : Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission

· August 1, 1987 - November 10, 19! 90: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva

· December 10, 1990 - March 14, 1991 : Advisor to the Prime Minister on economic affairs

· March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991 : Chairman, UGC

· June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996 : Union finance minister

· October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket

· June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha

· 1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance

· August 1, 1996 - December 4, 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on commerce

· March 21, 1998 onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha

· June 5, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on finance

· August 13, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on rules

· Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges 2000 onwards: Member, executive committee, Indian parliamentary group

· June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha

· Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee

BOOKS:

· India's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth Clarendon Press, Oxford University , 1964;

· Also published large number of articles in various economic journals.

OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

· Adam Smith Prize, University of Cambridge , 1956

· Padma Vibhushan, 1987

· Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;

· Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia, 1993 and 1994

INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS:

· 1966: Economic Affairs Officer

· 1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD

· 1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on International Monetary Reform

· 1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings

· 1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting

· 1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting

· 1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus 1993: Human Rights World Conference, Vienna

RECREATION :

· Gymkhana Club, New Delhi;

· Life Member, India International Centre, New Delhi

PERSONAL DETAILS:

Name : Dr. Manmohan Singh

DOB : September 26, 1932

Place of Birth : Gah ( West Punjab )

Father : S. Gurmukh Singh

Mother : Mrs Amrit Kaur

Married on : September 14, 1958

Wife : Mrs Gursharan Kaur

Children : Three Daughters

Our Prime Minister seems to be the most qualified PM all over the world. . .

Pass this to every INDIAN . . . and be PROUD to be an INDIAN . . .


Monday, June 15, 2009

My 16 rules of investment success

Here are 16 rules of investment success. Read carefully….

These rules are the crux of any investment ideas and philosophy. Let us examine their relevance in the present Indian context.

Rule 1: Begin with a prayer
Prayer helps you think clearly and make fewer mistakes. Meditation is known to reduce anxiety and stress, helping in better decision making.

Rule 2: Invest for maximum total real return
It is important to only consider the total real return i.e. the money you make in your investment lifetime after inflation and taxes. Many investors get carried away by short-term movements. They tend to ignore the long-term opportunities. Thus, it is wise to invest for total real returns.

Rule 3: Remain flexible and open-minded
Flexibility comes from being agile. Open-mindedness is learning from new ideas and perspectives. Many old-timers missed India's IT sector growth in the early 90s, which gave multi- bagger stocks like Infosys and Wipro. Cut to early 2005, many people were enamored with IT sector. They neglected the infrastructure and banking sectors, whose stocks multiplied within a couple of years. Hence it is important to be flexible and open-minded.

Rule 4: Invest, do not trade or speculate
Almost all successful people in the stock market are investors and not traders. They invest for long-term and are patient. There are many investors who have become millionaires solely on return of one stock in their portfolio over a decade. Sure they bought lot of other stocks which went nowhere but the one or two stocks that did well made all the difference. Traders think of the market as a casino where you play daily to win, investors think of markets as a long-term wealth building exercise.

Rule 5: Search for bargains
Just as we buy garments at discount sale, we need to buy and not sell stocks when markets are crashing. In October 2008, many high dividend yielding stocks were sold for meager amount. People who bought them have reaped huge profits.

Rule 6: Don't buy market trends or economic theories
Remember the India story told when the sensex was at 21,000 and markets dipped to 7,500 within a year. The boom gave way to gloom, economists and market experts were expecting a correction not a crash. Thus, you should not rely on economic theories and market trends while investing as they are told only after the event has occurred.

Rule 7: Diversify across assets and across markets, there is safety in numbers
Last year, when stocks dipped, gold and bond mutual funds thrived, an investor who had invested across all three assets would have got negative return in stocks but would have made good returns in bonds and gold. Thus, it is advisable not to put all eggs in one basket.

To spread risk, investments should be diversified across assets such as:

- Stocks / equity mutual funds
- Bonds/ bond mutual funds
- Gold/ gold exchange traded funds
- Real estate
- Foreign mutual funds
- Traditional assets such as fixed deposits and public provident funds

Investment opportunities come with risks. When markets are high, investors want 100 per cent equity exposure and forget the downside risk. When markets have crashed they want 100 per cent safety and ignore the upside potential.

Rule 8: Do your homework or hire experts who will do it for you

Some of us invest based on tips and rumors, that is speculating not investing. You should read and research all investment ideas well, take time to understand the upside and downside of each investment before buying. Or else, you must engage quality financial advisors before investing.

Rule 9: Aggressively monitor your investments
No investment is forever. Expect change and react to it. There are no permanent bull market and bear market.
Way back the BSE Sensex had bluechip companies like Scindia Steamship, Asian Cables, Crompton Greaves, Mukand Iron, and Premier Auto.

Today, these companies have become small or midcaps. Some are not even quoted. Indices and markets keep changing. Investors should be on guard always.

Rule 10: Don’t Panic

Many people panic and exit the market when there is a dip. It is better to sell before a crash not after. Panic and euphoria are the two facets of same investors. Both selling after a crash and buying after a huge rally make no sense.

Rule 11: Learn from your mistakes
The only way to avoid mistakes is not investing which is the biggest mistake of all. Those who didn't invest after losing money in 1994 crash wouldn't have made money in 1999 boom. Those who lost money and exited in 2000 would have missed one the best times to invest in India from 2002 - 2008.

Rule 12: Beating the markets is a difficult task
Even professional fund managers have tough time doing it. Hence, an investor should remember that getting above market returns year after year is difficult.

Rule 13: Buy low
So simple in concept, yet so difficult to practice. Humans tend to think in herds and not alone. Only a brave person would have invested in October last year when people were shell shocked and wanted to forget about stocks. (I didn't)

Rule 14: Anyone who has all the answers doesn’t even know the questions

Markets make even the most brilliant fund managers humble. We have seen big fund managers make wrong decisions. An investor who thinks he knows everything doesn't usually know anything. Success is a process of seeking out answers to newer questions.

Rule 15: There is no free lunch
Never invest based on a tip or rumor. Everyone talks about their profits however small and no one talks about their losses however big. (Well, I lost quiet a few bucks)

Rule 16: Do not be fearful or negative too often
There will be corrections and crashes in the markets, but markets do recover and reward diligent and patient investors. This century or next it's still buy low and sell high.

This article is based on my little experience, knowledge and analysis of experts views for Investment Success.

Disclaimer: All investments carry market risks, this article is not meant to be an investment advice but an educative one.


HAPPY INVESTMENT!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

New exam pattern based on IPL rules..........

Subject: New exam pattern based on IPL rules..........


Cricket has reached exciting levels with IPL.... Infusing the same thing into exams,

some suggestions:-


Last one is the best.....!!!!!


1. Reduce exam duration to 1 hr and marks to 50.


2. Introduce strategic break after 30 minutes.


3. Give free hit, that is a chance for students to frame their own questions and write answers.


4. 1st 15 minutes power play, that is no invigilator in the exam hall. (Wow…!!! I will love this....!!!)


5. Introduce fair play awards.


6.Cheer girls to cheer for every correct answer written....!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

MUST READ HINDUSTAN...HAMARI...PEHCHAAN

AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA





WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM




HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY



THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY




WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY

AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES..

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED


HOW DID U FIND INDIANS??



INDIANS??


WHO INDIANS??


I DIDNT FIND OR MET A SINGLE INDIAN


THERE IN INDIA.



WHAT NONSENSE??


WHO ELSE COULD U MET IN INDIA THEN??




THE AMERICAN SAID



IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI


IN PUNJAB A PANJABI


IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, RAJASTHAN, BENGAL,TAMILNADU,KERALA


BIHARI,MARATHI, MARWADI, BENGALI,TAMILIAN, MALAYALI



THEN I MET


A MUSLIM,


A HINDU


A CHRISTIAN,


A JAIN,


A BUDDHIST



AND MANY MANY MANY MORE



BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET




THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS



THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD


BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME


REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT ....



FIGHT BACK -



ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN


JAI HIND

To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be



WOMAN ARE SO SIMPLE!!!

AGREE???

To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. A friend

2. A companion

3. A lover

4. A brother

5. A father

6. A master

7. A chef

8. An electrician

9.. A carpenter

10. A plumber

11. A mechanic

12.. A decorator

13. A stylist

16. A psychologist

17. A pest exterminator

18. A psychiatrist

19. A healer

20. A good listener

21. An organizer

22. A good father

23. Very clean

24. Sympathetic

25. Athletic

26. Warm

27. Attentive

28. Gallant

29. Intelligent

30. Funny

31. Creative

32. Tender

33. Strong

34. Understanding

35. Tolerant

36. Prudent

37. Ambitious

38. Capable

39. Courageous

40. Determined

41. True

42. Dependable

43. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. Give her compliments regularly

45. Love shopping

46.. be honest

47. be very rich

48. Not stress her out

49. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself

52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. To never forget:

Birthdays

Anniversaries

Arrangements she makes


& HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Leave him alone

.

__,_._,___


100% -- Good One


A simple & meaningful message.....


A Small Stor y


A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed .


The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised .


That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble .


Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully .


"GOOD ADVICE IS PRICELESS; IF NOT FOLLOWED, IT IS WORTHLESS."


HAVE A BLESSED DAY!


Smart Investing.....Ignore Ulips & Dual Schemes (Insurance + Investment)

Time is money, goes the saying, which holds true in almost all aspects of life. But, it is more so in case of savings. If you start saving early, by the time you retire, you will have enough money to lead a prosperous retired life.

In fact, when you start saving early, your saved amount get a longer time to earn returns. This makes a lot of difference.

Take for example, if you start savings at the age of 25-year, or just at the time when you get your first salary, your savings of Rs 5000 per month at a conservative return of 10% per annum will swell to Rs 1.91 crore in 35 years or by the time you retire at the age of 60 year

But, if you start savings late, say, at the age of 30-year, your saving of Rs 5000 per month will become only Rs 1.14 crore.

If you start at the age of 35 year, the same savings will become only Rs 67 lakh. Not only this, at the age of 35 years, even if you start savings double the amount i.e. Rs 10,000 per month, by the time of retirement, the amount will become only Rs 1.34 crore.

This is called power of compounding. At the rate of 10%, a savings of Rs 5,000 per month becomes Rs 3,90,412 after 5 years.

That means, by then your saved amount will earn around Rs 39,000 per annum, which is around 65% of the amount that you are savings.

In 10 years, your savings swell to Rs 10,32,760, whose earnings itself will be more than 1.7 times of your monthly savings. That means, by the age of 35 year, your savings will earn more than your monthly savings.

After 25 years, your savings becomes Rs 67 lakh and contribute Rs 6.70 lakh in your net net saved amount every year thereafter, which is more than 11 times of your savings. So, if you will give more time to grow your money, more you will be benefited.

The other factor, which will decide your maturity amount, is the rate of return your money will earn. However, if you start savings early, that means, you are planning to do it for long term, you can think of investing in equities through unit linked savings schemes of insurance companies, or through mutual funds.

the long term, Indian economy is likely to grow at 7% to 8% per annum. In nominal term at an inflation rate of 5%, this will translate to a growth rate of 12% to 13%.

If it is so, the good companies should also manage to grow at around the same rate or two to three percentage points more than that in a longer horizon of 10 years to 15 years.

However, there could be some churn in between, which fund manager should be able to track and can give you a return of around 12% in the long term. The another positive aspect of investing in equity is that it is tax-free, which also help increase your return.

However, if you invest in debt funds, your return will be in the range of 9%, which will be reduced to around 6.7% post tax.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Woman in life ...MUST REAd FULLY

This is a beautiful article:
The woman in your life...very well expressed...


Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late
from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most
importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......

Please appreciate "HER"

I hope you will do....

Chinese Call Center

A Chinese Call center:

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak
to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But
what's this urgent matter
about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe
Wan was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on
his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time
for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh .....God.... ...


From --
Good Wan!
J

The Woman In Your Life







This is a beautiful article sent by my very good FRIEND:
T
he woman in your life...very well expressed...


Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than ?you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
? ? Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while
whendeadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this......