A young boy walks into a barber shop

A young boy walks into a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

 

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

 

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

 

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

 

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

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.

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..

 

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"

When Engineers go to hell

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell.

 

It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

 

 

One day, God calls Satan and says with a sneer: "So, how are things in Hell?"

 

Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." "What!" God exclaims: "You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have been sent to Hell… send him to me."

 

"Not a chance," Satan replies: "I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him!"

 

God insists: "Send him back or I'll sue."

 

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?"