Friday, August 1, 2008

Diets faq ... (Reversal)

Do all that… which is reversal… to stay fit and fine… J


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Need grain?
Eat chicken.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Its only the misconception, that narrow minded people have. So, Bottoms up!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable ! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had About food and diets..........




\"BBC\" gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at  Amritsar  station. Only one Sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows Correspondent: How did this happen  

 Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were  standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the  train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading.

The train arrived on the  track  and you can see the result  


 Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?  
 Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the
 platform, I climbed up...


 Interviewer: what is your birth date
 Sardar: 13th October Which year
 Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
  Manager asked to sardar at an interview " Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
 Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
  After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
 Wife: No! Why?
 Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
   One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this= village???

    Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
  Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
 So Sardar writes, \"Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is  Jayanthi.
   Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it\'s one leg and told WALK. WALK.

  Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last
he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn\'t walk.

Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach\'s four legs, it becomes  deaf.
  When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.

Sardar shouted, \"You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will  drive.
  Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he  doing.
 Sardar pointed towards the board \"WASH BASIN\"
  Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you  escape?
 Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

Results matter

Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nastily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Banta Singh, taxi driver from New Delhi!

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles & says to Banta Singh: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?

‘Results my friend, results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.

While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.

Moral of the story: Its PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.