Some funny lines !

Some funny lines ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ******** OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime ******** SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. ******** GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ******** HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ******** LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ******** PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. ******** DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ******** HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. ******** SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT. ********

Few Definitions

Few Definitions School:  A place where Papa pays and Son plays. Life Insurance:  A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. Nurse:  A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. Divorce: Future tense of Marriage. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of  the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that  everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office:  A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of  when dead

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A different Love Letter

A different Love Letter

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,


Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.


**********



1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?


**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile


**********

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song


**********

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know


**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know


**********

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded


**********

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them


**********

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose


**********

9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:

(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.


**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.


If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.


Eagerly awaiting your reply..


Love, Aakash


*********************



Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........


Aakash ,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.


**********

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... Right ?


(a) Yes (b) No


**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No


**********

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?

(a) Yes (b) No


**********

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No


If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.


Hope everything is clear to you .


**********