FW: IAS Interview

  The IAS Interview
  
  One young man went for an IAS Interview.
  
  "When did India get independence?" He was asked.
  
  "The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
  
  "Who was responsible for our independence?"
  
  "There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
  "Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
  
  "Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
  
  The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
  When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
  
  Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is your date of birth?"
  
  He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."

  "I love this one" :D
  
  Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?"
  
  He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".
  
  The interviewer was incensed.
  
  "Hey! Are you mad or what?"
  
  He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."

FW: Happy Ganesh Chaturthi....

 

 
GANAPATI BAPPA MORAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
 

WISH YOU ALL VERY HAPPY GANESH FESTIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“VAKRA TUNDA MAHAKAYA SURYAKOTI SAMAPRABHA NIRVIGHNAM KURU ME DEVO SARVA KARYESHU SARVADA!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

Gajananam, Bhootha Ganaathi Sevitham,
Kavitha Jambu Manasara Bakshitham
Uma sutham, shoka vinaasa haaranam,
Namaami Vigneshwara, paada pankajam

Agajaanana padmaarkam gajanana maharnisam
Anekadham dham bhakthanam ekadhantham upasmahe

Mooshika Vahana Modhaga Hasta
Shyamala Karna Vilambitha Sutra
Vamana Rupa Maheshwara Putra
Vigna Vinayaka Pada Namaste

Gowri-Ganeshanu Nammellarigu Siddi, Buddi, Siri-Sampathannu kottu,

Nammellara karyagallali yeshasu needali yendu prartisuttha

Ellarigu subha haraisali yendu koorutha

Nimagellarigu Gowri-Ganesha Habbada subhashayagalannu harasutene

 

 

 

108 Names Of Lord Ganesha & their meanings

1 Akhurath One who has Mouse as His Charioteer
2 Alampata Ever Eternal Lord
3 Amit Incomparable Lord
4 Anantachidrupamayam Infinite and Consciousness Personified
5 Avaneesh Lord of the whole World
6 Avighna Remover of Obstacles
7 Bala gana pati Beloved and Lovable Child
8 Bhalchandra Moon-Crested Lord
9 Bheema Huge and Gigantic
10 Bhupati Lord of the Gods
11 Bhuvanpati God of the Gods
12 Buddhinath God of Wisdom
13 Buddhipriya Knowledge Bestower
14 Buddhividhata God of Knowledge
15 Chaturbhuj One who has Four Arms
16 Devadeva Lord of All Lords
17 Devantakanashakarin Destroyer of Evils and Asuras
18 Devavrata One who accepts all Penances
19 Devendrashika Protector of All Gods
20 Dharmik One who gives Charity
21 Dhoomravarna Smoke-Hued Lord
22 Durja Invincible Lord
23 Dvaimatura One who has two Mothers
24 Ekaakshara He of the Single Syllable
25 Ekadanta Single-Tusked Lord
26 Ekadrishta Single-Tusked Lord
27 Eshanputra Lord Shiva's Son
28 Gadadhara One who has The Mace as His Weapon
29 Gajakarna One who has Eyes like an Elephant
30 Gajanana Elephant-Faced Lord
31 Gajananeti Elephant-Faced Lord
32 Gajavakra Trunk of The Elephant
33 Gajavaktra One who has Mouth like an Elephant
34 Ganadhakshya Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
35 Ganadhyakshina Leader of All The Celestial Bodies
36 Ganapati Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
37 Gaurisuta The Son of Gauri (Parvati)
38 Gunina One who is The Master of All Virtues
39 Haridra One who is Golden Coloured
40 Heramba Mother's Beloved Son
41 Kapila Yellowish-Brown Coloured
42 Kaveesha Master of Poets
43 Krti Lord of Music
44 Kripalu Merciful Lord
45 Krishapingaksha Yellowish-Brown Eyed
46 Kshamakaram The Place of Forgiveness
47 Kshipra One who is easy to Appease
48 Lambakarna Large-Eared Lord
49 Lambodara The Huge Bellied Lord
50 Mahabala Enormously Strong Lord
51 Maha gana pati Omnipotent and Supreme Lord
52 Maheshwaram Lord of The Universe
53 Mangalamurti All Auspicious Lord
54 Manomay Winner of Hearts
55 Mrityuanjaya Conqueror of Death
56 Mundakarama Abode of Happiness
57 Muktidaya Bestower of Eternal Bliss
58 Musikvahana One who has mouse as charioteer
59 Nadapratithishta One who Appreciates and Loves Music
60 Namasthetu Vanquisher of All Evils & Vices & Sins
61 Nandana Lord Shiva's Son
62 Nideeshwaram Giver of Wealth and Treasures
63 Omkara One who has the Form Of OM
64 Pitambara One who has Yellow-Coloured Body
65 Pramoda Lord of All Abodes
66 Prathameshwara First Among All
67 Purush The Omnipotent Personality
68 Rakta One who has Red-Coloured Body
69 Rudrapriya Beloved Of Lord Shiva
70 Sarvadevatman Acceptor of All Celestial Offerings
71 Sarvasiddhanta Bestower of Skills and Wisdom
72 Sarvatman Protector of The Universe
73 Shambhavi The Son of Parvati
74 Shashivarnam One who has a Moon like Complexion
75 Shoorpakarna Large-Eared Lord
76 Shuban All Auspicious Lord
77 Shubhagunakanan One who is The Master of All Virtues
78 Shweta One who is as Pure as the White Colour
79 Siddhi dhata Bestower of Success & Accomplishments
80 Siddhi priya Bestower of Wishes and Boons
81 Siddhi vinayaka Bestower of Success
82 Skandapurvaja Elder Brother of Skand (Lord Kartik)
83 Sumukha Auspicious Face
84 Sureshwaram Lord of All Lords
85 Swaroop Lover of Beauty
86 Tarun Ageless
87 Uddanda Nemesis of Evils and Vices
88 Umaputra The Son of Goddess Uma (Parvati)
89 Vakratunda Curved Trunk Lord
90 Vara gana pati Bestower of Boons
91 Varaprada Granter of Wishes and Boons
92 Varadavinayaka Bestower of Success
93 Veera gana pati Heroic Lord
94 Vidyavaridhi God of Wisdom
95 Vighnahara Remover of Obstacles
96 Vignaharta Demolisher of Obstacles
97 Vighnaraja Lord of All Hindrances
98 Vighnarajendra Lord of All Obstacles
99 Vighnavinashanaya Destroyer of All Obstacles & Impediments
100 Vigneshwara Lord of All Obstacles
101 Vikat Huge and Gigantic
102 Vinayaka Lord of All
103 Vishwamukha Master of The Universe
104 Vishwaraja King of The World
105 Yagnakaya Acceptor of All Sacred & Sacrficial Offerings
106 Yashaskaram Bestower of Fame and Fortune
107 Yashvasin Beloved and Ever Popular Lord
108 Yogadhipa The Lord of Meditation

 

MAY LORD GANESHA FULFILL ALL YOUR WISHES!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganapati Bappa Moraya!!!

Diets faq ... (Reversal)

Do all that… which is reversal… to stay fit and fine… J

 

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Need grain?
Eat chicken.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Its only the misconception, that narrow minded people have. So, Bottoms up!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable ! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had About food and diets..........

 

Jokes

 

\"BBC\" gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at  Amritsar  station. Only one Sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows Correspondent: How did this happen  

 Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were  standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the  train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading.

The train arrived on the  track  and you can see the result  

 

 Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?  
 Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the
 platform, I climbed up...

 

 Interviewer: what is your birth date
  
 Sardar: 13th October Which year
 Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
  
  Manager asked to sardar at an interview " Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?"
 Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
  
  After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
 Wife: No! Why?
 Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
  
   One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this= village???

    Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
  
  Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
 So Sardar writes, \"Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is  Jayanthi.
  
   Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it\'s one leg and told WALK. WALK.

  Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last
he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn\'t walk.

Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach\'s four legs, it becomes  deaf.
  
  When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror.

Sardar shouted, \"You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will  drive.
  
  Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he  doing.
 Sardar pointed towards the board \"WASH BASIN\"
  
  Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you  escape?
 Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

Results matter

Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nastily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Banta Singh, taxi driver from New Delhi!

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles & says to Banta Singh: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?

‘Results my friend, results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.

While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.

Moral of the story: Its PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.  

FW: Results matter

 

Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nastily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

Lord Dharamraj asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Banta Singh, taxi driver from New Delhi!

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger, smiles & says to Banta Singh: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Sant Shiromani Baba so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Temple for the last 40 years.

Lord Dharamraj consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. How is that a foul mouthed, rash driving Taxi Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?

‘Results my friend, results,' shrugs Lord Dharamraj.

While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his taxi, people PRAYED.

Moral of the story: Its PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.  

DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH?

DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH?

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle..
Girl: Slow down. I Am scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
Girl hugs him
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.

In the paper the next day :( A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only one had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug him one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die. If there is anyone in life you love this much,

 

 

 

FW: Jokes from MunnaBhai - Own creation

 

 

PROFESSOR
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI
Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI

Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu 

Jai Hind

Musharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train.

The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking
perplexed.

Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking:
These Pakistani are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:
Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Musharaf is thinking:
Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking:
if this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again ...JAI HIND

Enjoy...... ;-)

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.

A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only Rs.1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs7,00,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking

Rs.11,50,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 11,00,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50

thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:

-

 

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"Anyone knows who this mobile belongs to?"
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A Hen Lays Egg on the Ind-Pak Boundary.

Both start fighting over the
Egg. India and Pakistan say its theirs.
Finally India says, whoever kisses more women in other country within
one minute wins the Egg. Pakistanis say ok.

Indians goes to pakistan kisses 100 women within a minute and comes
back.
Pakistanis were excited and say "Its our turn".
Indians say
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"Keep the Egg"
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A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him
for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the
beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he
realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts
with some money. Suddenly an idea struck him.

He told the beggar, 'I do not have money, But if you tell me what you
want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.' 'I would have
bought a cup of tea', replied the beggar. The man said, 'Sorry man. I
can offer you a cigarette instead of tea'. He then took a pack of
cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar
told, 'I don't smoke as it is injurious to health.'

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told
the beggar, 'Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is Really
good'. The beggar refused by saying, 'Alcohol muddles the brain and
damages the liver'.

The man smiled again told the beggar, 'I am going to the race course.
Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.
If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone'. As before, the
beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, 'Sorry sir, I can't come
with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.'

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his
home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of
receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts
and asked the man, 'Why do you want me to go to your house with you'.

The man replied, 'My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad
habits looks like.'

Meat is muder

Heifer whines could be human cries
Closer comes the screaming knife
This beautiful creature must die
This beautiful creature must die
A death for no reason
And death for no reason is murder

And the flesh you so fancifully fry
Is not succulent, tasty or kind
Its death for no reason
And death for no reason is murder

And the calf that you carve with a smile
Is murder
And the turkey you festively slice
Is murder
Do you know how animals die ?

Kitchen aromas arent very homely
Its not comforting, cheery or kind
Its sizzling blood and the unholy stench
Of murder

Its not natural, normal or kind
The flesh you so fancifully fry
The meat in your mouth
As you savour the flavour
Of murder

No, no, no, its murder
No, no, no, its murder
Oh ... and who hears when animals cry ?

This is so beautiful and so true.......

Why Women Cry                                                  A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"   God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry he! r husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."                                                                               Please send this to five beautiful women you know today.  Send it to every man, so that he can understand! -

 

FW: Gud Story

Very nice story ………….Dont Miss to  Read it.

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much
misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.  'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!'

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.  AFTER ALL WE WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM..

 

 

FW: Gud Story

Very nice story ………….Dont Miss to  Read it.

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much
misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.  'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!'

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE.  AFTER ALL WE WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM..

 

 

FW: Conversation between lovers...ultimate.. must read...

Singhu bhaiya.......yeh sach to nhi h naa......
bura mat manna koi b :-)

THIS IS A TYPICAL CONVERSATION b/w Lovers

Note: Conversation ke beech, within brackets jo hai, woh.. ladka apne aap se
keh raha hai

She Gives a missed call to him....and he calls her back..

She: Hello!

He: (are yaar...pata nahi aaj kya bore karegi ) Hi ...kya baat hai..?

She: kuch nahi...bas aise hi phone kiya...

He: ( Call kaha kiya?.. khali missed call to diya hai... ) oh...ok ..kya kar
rahi thi meri jaanu??

She: abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya...tum kya kar rahe the?

He: mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam hua.. ab...."Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon"
sun raha hu FM par....

She: nice song..

(And then she hums a line from the song "Hum Tum")


He: ( Saala waha koi chipkali 'kich kich' kar rahi hai ya .... ) hey!!!! tum
itni achchi gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nahi tha

She: *giggles*

He: Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls!

She: yaha sab so rahe hai...agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge..

He: ( Correct...woh yeh samjhenge ki koi bhootni hai  ... ) Come on! Please!

She: hat ...I don't sing that well

He: (  yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... :-) ) It was really sweet. Please
gaao na dear

She: mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan

He: aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu...gaao na
She: tumhi keh sakte ho...

He: ( mai? saala mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola ) abhi tum
gaaogi ya nahi?

She: kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho?
He: Sigh! Ok

She: I don't have that great a voice

He: ( saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke.. ) hmmmm

She: theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek
hai??

He: ( aur kya kya jhelna padega malum nahi.. ) Great!!!!

She: kaunsa gaana gaau ?

He: ( tum kuch bhi gaao...meri to aaj neend haraam hai.. )Hmmmm. 'Mahiya'
from Awarapan?

She: Nice song. But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai

He: ( Text book chodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol... ) Dhoom Machale?

She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi
He: ( Tum koi bhi gaana gaao....mere kaan to pakne waale hai ) Cool


(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)


She: Nahi jaan. I am feeling very shy!

He: Gaao na...pls gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana
chahta hoon

She: dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho

He: ( Maalum pada na  ... phir..: ) )No no. Tum shy feel kar rahi ho
na....is liye... Trying to make u cool

She: Hmmm

He: please gaao na darling

She: main kal gaau?

He: ( Haaaaa...jaan bachi... Phut leta hoon... ) theek hai jaisi tumhaari
merzi

She: Hmmm

He: Good night

She: Good night

She: Sweet Dreams.. Take care...

He: Sweets dreams to u too...


After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a
missed call),,,,


She: Hey..sogaye the kya?

He: ( nahi...current ka aavishkaar kar raha tha... ) nahi jaan.

She: kya kar rahe ho?

He: ( raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai... ) Match dekh raha tha
She: theek hai tum match dekho

He: ( us wakt se main kya bhajiya tal raha tha... ) Hey it's ok... purani
match hai.

She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing?


(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)


He: (Bad ah? this was the luckiest day in my life, since you didn't sing
:- ) Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable
first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi..... So, me waiting..
(maine to socha tha ki aaj bachgaya....dhat teriki :-()


She sings 1 stanza from the song

'Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....'


He: Wow. Too good!

She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai

He: ( shukr hai self realization hai... :-)... ) nahi darling you really
sing well.

She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho

He: ( very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya..... ) Che! Che! teri voice
agar itni buri hoti to main ab tak na sun raha hota

She: Hmmmm...theek hai. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao..

He: ( tera gaana sunne ke baad neend kaise aayegi.. ) Good night!

She: Take care

He: You too

She: Hey....

He: ( are yaar..aaj ye nahi chodegi ,,, ) kya hai sweety? .

She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi...
He: ( tu apni voice khud record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar )
sachchi... Of course.

She: sirf jhoot

He: ( iski toh... agar ab mujhe sone nahi diya toh...... ) Not at all. You
sing very well

She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night.  

He: Good Night!!

The Great Sardars are back with a bang .....................]

 1. Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I dont know who is Jayanti.

2. Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : YOu said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.

3. Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

4. Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

5. On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

6. Doctor to patient : YOu will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die.
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

7. Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

8. Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

9. Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

10. Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

11. Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

12 . American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

13. How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

 

FW: Three mesmerizing words.....

"10th Grade"

As I sat there in English class,

I stared at the girl next to me.

She was my so called 'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair,

and wished she was mine.

But she didn't notice me like that,

and I knew it. After class,

she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her.

She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her,

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"11th grade"

The phone rang. On the other end,

it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.

She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone,

So I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.

 She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

 I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don t know why.

 

"Senior year"

One fine day she walked to my locker.

"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go" well,

I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,

we made a promise that if nei ther of us had dates,

we would go together just as 'best friends'.

So we did. That night, after everything was over,

I was standing at her front door step.

I stared at her as She smiled at me

and stared at me with her crystal eyes.

Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"

and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"Graduation"

A day passed, then a week, then a month.

Before I could blink, it was graduation day.

I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.

I wanted her to be mine - but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat,

and cried as I hugged her.

Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks'

and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

 I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"Marriage"

Now I sit in the pews of the church.

That girl is getting married now.

and drive off to her new life, married to another man.

I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.

But before she drove away, she came to me and said 'you came!'.

She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.

I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

 

"Death"

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.

At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years.

This is what it read:

"I stare at him wishing he was mine;

but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it.

I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends,

I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me ! "

.......'I wish I did too.' I thought to my self, and I cried.

 

"Do yourself a favour, tell your loved ones that you love them"