Enjoy...... ;-)

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.

A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only Rs.1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "Rs7,00,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking

Rs.11,50,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 11,00,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50

thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:

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"Anyone knows who this mobile belongs to?"
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A Hen Lays Egg on the Ind-Pak Boundary.

Both start fighting over the
Egg. India and Pakistan say its theirs.
Finally India says, whoever kisses more women in other country within
one minute wins the Egg. Pakistanis say ok.

Indians goes to pakistan kisses 100 women within a minute and comes
back.
Pakistanis were excited and say "Its our turn".
Indians say
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"Keep the Egg"
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A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
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Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him
for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the
beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he
realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts
with some money. Suddenly an idea struck him.

He told the beggar, 'I do not have money, But if you tell me what you
want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.' 'I would have
bought a cup of tea', replied the beggar. The man said, 'Sorry man. I
can offer you a cigarette instead of tea'. He then took a pack of
cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar
told, 'I don't smoke as it is injurious to health.'

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told
the beggar, 'Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is Really
good'. The beggar refused by saying, 'Alcohol muddles the brain and
damages the liver'.

The man smiled again told the beggar, 'I am going to the race course.
Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.
If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone'. As before, the
beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, 'Sorry sir, I can't come
with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.'

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his
home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of
receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts
and asked the man, 'Why do you want me to go to your house with you'.

The man replied, 'My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad
habits looks like.'