FW: woman -----as defined by engineers--must read

ULTIMATE TRUTH

>Ultimate truth
>( Uncanny-but true !)  

>Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.  
>
>To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
>  
>The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
>  
>Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
>
>In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
>
>All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
>  
>Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
>
>Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
>  
>If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
>
>You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
>
>Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
>
>As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
>  
>He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
>
>If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
>  
>Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
>  
>When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
>
>If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
>  
>Especially for engg. Students----
>If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
>
>You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
>
>The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
>  
>After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
>
>If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

>Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
 

An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOYYYYYYYYYY!!!

An absolutely Brilliant Joke, ENJOYYYYYYYYYY!!!


A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said,
"That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like
a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling
good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.


;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;;;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;;
;

The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who
have a go
316A    

FW: Good One.......

 

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely! "This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police . . 

 

Happy Holi

 

Wishing You All a very "Happy Holi" HOLI :The Festival of Colours
 
 "Makki ki Roti, Nimbu ka Aachar"  
Makki ki Roti, Nimbu ka Aachar,
Suraj Ki Kirne, Khushiyo ki Bahar,
Chand Ki Chandi, Apno ka Pyar,
Mubarak Ho Aapko, HOLI ka Tyohar
 

"Rango Ke Tyohar Me"  
Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar,
Sunhari Dhup Barsat ke Bad
thodi Si Hashi Har Bat ke Bad
Usi Tarah Ho Mubarak App Ko Ye Nayi Subah
Kal rat Ke Bad Happy Holi.
 
 "May god gift u all the color"  

May god gift u all the colors of life,
colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship,
colors of luv n all other colors u want to paint in ur life.
Happy Holi.


 "If wishes came in rainbow colours"
If wishes came in rainbow colours,
I would send you the brightest ones to say,
Happy Holi !
 

 

Khaa key gujiya, pee key bhaang,
laaga k thora thora sa rang,
baaja ke dholak aur mridang,
khele holi hum tere sang.
HOLI MUBARAK!



Holi par sabhi ko sabhi rango se milkar ek rang,
apko mile jo apki khusiyon ko rangin bana de.
Happy Holi!!



Rang udaye Pichkari
rang se rang jaye duniya sari
holi ke rang aapke jeevan ko rang de
ye shubhakaamna hai hamari.
HAPPY HOLI !!!


Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar,
Dher Saari Khushiyo Se Bhara Ho Aapka Sansar,
Yahi Dua hai Bhagwan Se Hamari Har bar,
Holi Mubarak!





Pichkari ki dhar, gular ki bauchar,
apno ka pyar, yahi hai HOLI ka tyohar.
Wishing you and your family
a very hapy and colourful HOLI.






Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,
Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,
Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,
Humne dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.





Dipped in hues of love and trust has come the festival of Holi.
Happy Holi!!



Bright colors, water balloons,
lavish gujiyas and melodious songs
are the ingredients of perfect Holi.
Wish you a very happy and wonderful Holi.




Best wishes to you for a Holi filled
with sweet moments and memories to cherish for long.
Happy Holi !!!

 

 

Aaj jaane ki jidd na karo

Aaj jane ki zid na karo
Aaj jane ki zid na karo
Yuhi pehlu mein baithe raho
Yuhi pehlu mein baithe raho
Aaj jane ki zid na karo

Haaye mar jaayein ge
Hum to lutt jaayein ge
Aisi batein kiya na karo
Aaj jane ki zid na karo
Aaj jane ki zid na karo

Tumhi socho zara
kyu na rokein tumhey
jan jaati hai jab uth ke jate ho tum
jan jaati hai jab uth ke jate ho tum
tum ko apni qasam jaan-e-jaa
baat itni meri maan lo
Aaj jane ki zid na karo
Aaj jane ki zid na karo


Waqt ki qaid mein zindagi hai magar
Waqt ki qaid mein zindagi hai magar
chand ghariya yahi hain jo azad hai
chand ghariya yahi hain jo azad hai
inko khokar kahen jaan-e-jaan
umr bhar na tarastey raho
Aaj jane ki zid na karo
Aaj jane ki zid na karo

Kitna masoom aur rangeen hai yeh sama
husn aur ishq ki aaj me\'raj hai
husn aur ishq ki aaj me\'raj hai
kal ki kis ko khabar jaan-e-jaa\'n

rok lo aaj ki raat ko
Aaj jaane ki zid na karo
Yunhi pehlu mein bethey raho
Yunhi pehlu mein bethey raho

Aaj jaane ki zid na karo

Good Morning...

Always welcome a new day with a
'Smile' on your lips,
'Love' in your heart,
'Good thoughts' in your mind,
And you will have a
wonderful day ahead....

Jame Raho from Developer Zameen par

For Project People:

Kas ke joota ....Kas ke belt
khons ke andar apni shirt
Office ko chali sawaari
kandhon pe hai zimmedari

haath mein notebook .....man mein dum
Aaj to CR execute karenge hum
har issue se takrayenge
Migration k baad hi ghar jayenge hum

Project ka naara jame raho
TL ka ishaara jame raho
Project ka naara jame raho
TL ka ishaara jame raho

ye sote bhee hain attention
Testing karne ki hai tension
mehnat inko pyari hai
ekdum aagyakari hain

ye Cafeteria par hi jeete hain
ye Chai Coffee peete hain
bewaqt sote bewaqt khate
taan ke seena badhte jate

Project ka naara jame raho...

For Bench People:

yahaan alag andaz hai
jaise chidta koi saaz hai
har kaam ko taala karte hain
ye sapne paala karte hain

ye hardum socha karte hain
ye khud se poocha karte hain

kyon project ka naara jame raho...

ye project ke kabhi ghulam nahin
inhe kisi baat ka dhyan nahin
Girlfriend se milne jaate hain
Mobile par batiyate hain

ye mails forward karte hain
novels saare padhte hai
aur company k discussion forum pe
ye kalakariyan karte hain

Bench ka naara jame raho..

Good one From Lage Raho Munnabhai ....................!!

Goooooooood Morrrrniiiiiiiiiing India .......... Shaher ki es daud me daud ke karna kya hai? Jab yehi jeena hai dosto to phir marna kya hai? Paheli barish me train late hone ki fikr hai Bhul gaye bhigte hue tahelna kya hai? Serails ke kirdaaro ka saara haal hai malum Par maa ka haal puchhne ki fursat kise hai? Ab ret pe nange pao tahelte kyu nahi? 108 hai chanel phir dil bahelte kyu nahi? Internet ki duniya ke to touch me hai, Lekin pados me kon raheta hai jaante tak nahi. Mobile, Landline sab ki bharmaar hai, Lekin jigri dost tak pahuche aise taar kaha hai? Kab dubte hue suraj ko dekha tha yaad hai? Kab jaana tha shaam ka who banana kya hai? To Dosto Shaher ki es daud me daud ke karna kya hai Jab yahi jeena hai to phir Marna kya hai?

WAQT NAHIN ............

' WAQT NAHI '

Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Maa Ki Loree Ka Ehsaas To Hai,
Par Maa Ko Maa Kehne Ka Waqt Nahi.
Saare Rishton Ko To Hum Maar Chuke,
Ab Unhe Dafnane Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.

Saare Naam Mobile Mein Hain,
Par Dosti Ke Lye Waqt Nahi.
Gairon Ki Kya Baat Karen,
Jab Apno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Aankhon Me Hai Neend Badee,
Par Sone Ka Waqt Nahi.
Dil Hai Ghamon Se Bhara Hua,
Par Rone Ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.

Paison ki Daud Me Aise Daude,
Ki Thakne ka Bhi Waqt Nahi.
Paraye Ehsason Ki Kya Kadr Karein,
Jab Apane Sapno Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.

Tu Hi Bata E Zindagi,
Iss Zindagi Ka Kya Hoga,
Ki Har Pal Marne Walon Ko,
Jeene Ke Liye Bhi Waqt Nahi.........

GOOD MORNING

Kaagaj Ke Pal

Shayaries

1) Chandni se chamakti is raat mein,
ek khushboo si hai har baat mein,
hai sitaare mere kadmo ke tale,
Ek ehsaas hai aaj unki har aahat mein,
paas aake bhi kyu hein duriya,
koi pyasa hein kyu barsat mein.

2) Pyar ko chod kar tum koi aur baatkaro
Ab mujhe pyar ki har baat se dar lagta hai
Meri khatir na woh badnam kahin ho jaye
Esliye unki har mulaqat se dar lagta hai

3) Khuda hamari tarah tumhe tanhaayi na de,
Hum jee lenge tanha, par tumhe Judai na de,
hamari nigahon mein basi rahe apki soorat,
Aapko bhale hi hum dikhayi na de

4) Aaj dil puch baitha, apni hi tasveer se,
Tune kya paya hai apni taqder se,
Aapki tasveer dilke aaine ko dikhai,
Aur kaha aisa dost paya hai dunia ki bheed se.

5) Sapna Kabhi sakar nahi hota mohabbat ka koi aakar nahi hota
sub kuch hojata hai is dunya mein magar
dubara kisi se sacha pyaar nahi hota.....

6) Kash Ye Dil Shishe ka bana hota,Chot Lagti to Beshak ye Fanah hota. .Par Sunte Jab Wo Aawaz iske Tutne ki,Tab Unhe b Apne Gunah ka Ehsaas hota...

7) Jane kaha tha or kaha aa gaya!
duniya me bankar mehman aa gaye!
Abhi to zindagi ki kitab puri padhi bhi nahi aur jane kitne imtihan aa gaye...

8) Life mein kbhi compromise karna pade to don't hesitate. BCoz......
Jhukta wahi hai jisme jaan hoti hai. Akad hi to murde ki pehchan hoti hai..

9) Dil ne socha khat likhu, mili na shayari pyar wali. Phir socha likhu phool se, mili na dali gulab wali. Isliye sms bhej rahi hu taki toote na dosti pyar
wali.

10) Jo Palpal Chalthi Hai Who Zindagi Hai.
Jo Palpal Jalthi Hai Who Roshani Hai.
Jo Palpal Kilthi Hai Who Mohabbat Hai. Par Jo Harpal Saath Hai Woh DOSTHI Hai....

 

 

Kagaz Ke Note...VERY TRUE

Shayaries

 

Gam nahi waha jaha ho fasana tera,

Khushiya dhundti rahe aashiyana tera,

Wo waqt hi na aaye jab tu udas ho,

Ye duniya bhula na sake muskurana tera..

Tujhe bholkar bhi na bhool payenge hum,

Bas yehi ek wada nibha payenge hum,

Mita denge khud ko bhi jahan se lekin,

Tera naam dil se na mita payenge hum..

 Pyar kisi se jo karoge ruswai hi milegi...
Wafa kar lo chahe jitni Bewafai hi milegi...
Jitna marzi kisi ko apna bana lo,
Jab ankh khulegi... Tanhai hi milegi !

 

 

 

 

IT Company Full Names

*** IT Company Full Names ***

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments

Regards, Sandeep Garg

 

Ganesh idol 2007 at Khairatabad, Hyderabad

LORD GANESH
AT KHAIRATABAD - HYDERABAD

Gita Saar - the ligher side

Dear Bhaktajano of Primashram,

Hi all wt is truth

Post Appraisal . . . . . . .
This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you.

Hey Parth (Employee),

Incentive nahi mila, Bura Hua
salary cut rahi hai, Bura Hua
Extra shift hogi, woh bhi buri hogi.

Tum pichhla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,
Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo,
Bus apni salary main santusht raho....

Tumhari pocket se kya gaya, jo rote ho?
Jo aaya tha sab yahee se aaya.
Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee
Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.

Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the..
Jo experience mila yahi mila...
Jo support diya company ke liye...
Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo.

Jo system aaj tumhara hai...
Woh kal kisi aur ka tha....
Kal kisi aur ka or parso kisi aur ka hoga..
Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho..
Yahi khushi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.

"Kyo vyarth chinta karte ho, kisse vyarth darte ho,
Kaun tumhe nikaal sakta hai......"

Policy change company ka rule hai.
Jise tum policy change kahte ho, wahi to trick hai.

"Ek pal main tum Best performer or Hero no.1 ya Super
Star ban jaate ho,

Dusre pal main tum worst performer or target nahin
achieve kar paatey ho."

Appraisal, incentive etc. etc. mann se hata do,
vichaar se mita do, Phir company tumhari hai or tum
company ke.
na yeh increment wageyrah tumhare liye hai
na tum iske kabhi ho, Parantu job secure hai
Phir tum tension kyon lete ho........?


Tum apne aap ko company ko arpit kar do,
Yahi sabse bada golden rule hai,
Jo is golden rule ko jaanta hai,
woh review, incentive,recession,retirement aadi se sada
ke liye muqt ho jaata hai....

HURRY (H)OM(e).

Happy Ganesha Chaturthi

For all sceince ppl ----------------- Newton's laws of love

NEWTON IN ROMANTIC MOOD..............

U niversal L aw O f L ove:


" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From
One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "



F irst L aw O f L ove:


" A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl
In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless
Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And
Break The Legs Of The Boy. "


S econd L aw O f L ove:


" The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is
Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And
The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The
Bank Balance. "




T hird L aw O f L ove:


" The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite
To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."