3 KEYS FOR BEST LIFE

3 KEYS FOR BEST LIFE::- CONFIDENCE: Once all villager decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy came with an Umbrella that's confidence.. ......... TRUST: Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air , he laughs...... Because he knows You will catch him........ HOPE: Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning but still ........... You have plans for the coming day. So KEEP CONFIDENCE; TRUST OTHERS AND NEVER LOSE HOPES

 

Three Parrots

 

Three Parrots
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.  
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.  

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

 
 
 
 

	The owner said it was Rs.250. Rs.250, the man said.   "Well what does he do? "He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.  "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
	The man then asked what the second parrot cost. The clerk replied,Rs.500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.
	Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, "Rs.1,000." Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs.1,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was. The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!
 
HOWS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Read with smile

Proud to be Engineer!!!

 

Proud to be Engineer!!  

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.So both groups gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.


SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes
Away....

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So
they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can
easily get a LOCAL to PUNE



SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA):
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equal"....All
7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives....

ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand
comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in Engg. Bathroo! m... TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.


SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA):!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their
move for last chance, they board the loc al to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.

ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ...................

Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train...........


Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don't mess with Engineers.

 

 

 

 

FW: From The Top of the Burj

see this stuff………………….
This is taken from world's tallest building "Burj Dubai" @ 2,620 ft / 801m!!!
What do you think …………………

Really amazing

Look at the edge (uppermost right corner) of the picture, you can almost see the "turn" of the earth

We cannot feel the turn of earth…….

But the persons who are working on the upper most Girders can see the "ROTATION OF EARTH"

So terrifying…..

Mechanical Engineer's Wedding Rings...

Dhakka laga do !!

 

Raat ke 2 baje patni apne pati ko gahri neend se jagati hai.

"Sunoji! Koi darwaje par hai!"

"Itni raat gaye kaun aa gaya? Theek hai, dekhta hoon."

Pati uth kar darwaje tak jaata hai aur usey kholta hai. Dekhta hai ki ek
sharaabi moosladhaar baarish mein khada hai.

Sharaabi bola, "Bhai sahab! Jara dhakka laga doge?"

"Dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai?" pati bhadka, "Raat ke 2 baj rahe hain!"

Pati darwaza jor se band karta hai aur wapis bistar par aa kar let jaata
hai.

"Kaun tha?" patni ne poocha.

"Koi sharaabi tha. Dhakka lagane ko bol raha tha."

"Tumne kiya?" wo boli.

"Nahin! Raat ke 2 baj rahe hain aur baahar itni tez baarish ho rahi
hai!"

"Lagta hai tum apna samay bhool gaye. Yaad karo jab teen mahine pahle
hamari gaadi kharaab ho gayi thi aur un do aadmiyon ne hamari madad ki
thi.
Mere khyal se tumhein uski madad karni chahiye."

"Tum sahi kah rahi ho. Mujhe sharm aani chahiye. Main abhi baahar jaa
kar uski madad karta hoon."

Pati dhuandhar baarish mein ghar se bahar nikalta hai. Andhere mein wo
us sharaabi ko dhoondta hai.

"Hello! O bhai shahab! Aap abhi bhi yehan ho?"

"Haan" ek kone se aawaz aayi.

 

"Kya tumhein abhi bhi dhakka lagwana hai?" pati bola.

"Haan! Shukriya.!" andhere kone se sharaabi ki aawaz aayi.

 

 

"Tum ho kahan?" pati ne poocha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yehan! Idhar is jhoole par."eID:NT0000  

 

 

 

 

 

Jaat

जाट करै ना दोस्ती, जाट करै ना प्यार
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

चुगलखोर और दुतेड़े दुश्मन इनके खास
चाहे पायां पड़े रहो, कोन्यां आवैं रास
जाट मोहब्बत का भूखा, प्यारा दे सै मार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

अपनी औरत को भाळै, पीटै बेशक रोझ
पर और कोए कुछ बोल दे, मिटा दे उसका खोज
इसकी नफरत और प्रेम का पावै कोन्या पार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

मुंह की अपनी काढ दे, जै कोए आवै मदद करण
मरौड़ कसूती सै धिखे, जिब्बै दे दे जान
जी मैं आवै वो-ए करैगा, कोन्यां मानै हार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

ऊपर तैं जणूं पाथर हो, भीतर जणूं गुलाब
एक मिनट में साळा कह दे, चाहे साहमी हो नवाब !
इसकी माया न्यारी सै, यो लाम्बी करै उडार -
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

भेल्ली दे दे, ना दे गंडा, इसका इसा मिजान
रूस ग्या तै रूस ग्या, कोन्यां जा मुंह-काण
भगवानां नै मान ली, कई बै इस तैं हार
जो साचा इंसान हो, वो-ए इसका यार ।

shayari

भीगी आँखों से मुस्कराने में मज़ा और है,

हसते हँसते पलके भीगने में मज़ा और है,

बात कहके तो कोई भी समझलेता है,

पर खामोशी कोई समझे तो मज़ा और है...!

मुस्कराना ही ख़ुशी नहीं होती,

उम्र बिताना ही ज़िन्दगी नहीं होती,

दोस्त को रोज याद करना पड़ता है,

क्योकि दोस्त कहना ही दोस्ती नहीं होती.

 

आपके पास दोस्तों का खजाना है,

पर ये दोस्त आपका पुराना है,

इस दोस्त को भुला ना देना कभी..

क्यूँ की ये दोस्त आपकी दोस्ती का दीवाना है

Shayaries

Apni to mohabbat ki itni kahani hai,
Tooti hui kashti or tehhra hua pani hai,

Ek phool kitabon may dam tor chuka hai,
Magar kuch yaad nahi aata yeh kis ki nishani hai.



~~~~~~~~~



PathaR ki hai Duniya, jazbat nahi samajti,
Dil me kya hai Wo baat nai samjti,

Tanha to Chand b hai sitaro ke bich,
magar Chand ka Dard Bewafa Raat nahi samjhati



~~~~~~~~~



Hamari khushi ki baghwan se fariyad na karna,
bhula dena mujko kabhi tum yad na karna,

kiya barbad tune mujhe ye meri badnasibi thi,
iltaza hai kisi aur ko yun barbad na karna....



~~~~~~~~~



Kabhi ro k muskraye, kabi muskra k roe
Uski yaad jab b ayi, ushe bhula k roe,

Ek uska hi nam tha, jise hazar bar likha,
jitna likh k kush hue, usse jiyada mita k roe

 

The Corporate language !!

The Corporate language !! "We will do it" means " You will do it" "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you" "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same" "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !". "After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do" "There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied" "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later" "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time" "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time." "We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought" "Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me" "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!" "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is" "Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected" means "Well you know..." "We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed" "That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it" "All the Best" means " You are in trouble"

 

Sardar Jokes!!

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine". Sardar thinks "how poetic"...........!!!! Sardar says, "pass the custard you ba---rd". *********************************************** Sardar at bar in New York . Man on his right says "Johny Walker single" Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married" *********************************************** Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? how much is DRIVING salary...? *********************************************** Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during  the day when light is not needed!!! *********************************************** 2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO... *********************************************** Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.... ****************************** ***************** Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks. He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks. He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion...... ...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......" *********************************************** A Tamilian call up sardar and asks  " tamil therima??" Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!" *********************************************** 2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy. Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!.... *********************************************** A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective. Interviewer : who killed Gandhi? Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating....... *********************************************** A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and>it read:  AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR. *********************************************** Interviewar: what s ur qualification? Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d. Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d? Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.... *********************************************** Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows? Sardar : liquid state..... Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind,  ALL WERE SARDARS.......

 

 

Enjoy The COFFEE (LIFE) too good mail :)

 

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
 
Offering his guests coffee, the  lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an  assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."
 
"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

So don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee instead.

Just to make you laugh

FW: Jab main Delhi pahuncha.......

 

एक दिन ,

मैं दिल्ली  पहुँचा ,

स्टेशन पे एक कुली से बाहर जाने  का  रास्ता पूंछा .

कुली ने कहा: " बाहर जाके  पूंछो ."

 

 

 

मैंने ख़ुद ही

रास्ता धुंध  लिया ,

बाहर जाके टैक्सी वाले  से  पूंछा :

" भाई साहब  लाल किले  का  कितना  लोगे ?"

जवाब मिला: " बेचना  नही  है ."

 

 

 

टैक्सी छोड़ , मैंने  बस  पकड़  ली ,

कोन्दुक्टोर  से  पूंछा: "जी , क्या मैं सिगरेट   पी सकता हूँ ?"

वो गुर्र्रा कर   बोला : "हरगिज़  नही , यहाँ सिगरेट पीना  मन  है."

मैंने कहा: "पर वो जनाब तो  पी रहे है!"

फिर से गुर्र्र्राया : "उसने मुझसे पूंछा नही है."

 

 

 

लाल किले  पंहुचा , होटल  गया .

मेनेजर  से कहा: "मुझे रूम  चाहिए , सातवी मंजिल  पे ."

मेनेजर ने कहा: "रहने  के लिए या कूदने  के लिए ?"

रूम पंहुचा , वेटर  से कहा:

" एक पानी का गिलास  मिलेगा ?"

उसने जवाब दिया: "नही साहब , यहाँ तो सारे कांच के मिलते हैं."

 

 

 

होटल से निकला , दोस्त के घर जाने के लिए ,

रस्ते  मी  एक साहब से पूंछा:

" जनाब , ये सड़क कहाँ को जाती है ?"

जनाब हंस  कर बोले: "पिछले  बीस साल से देख रहा  हूँ , यही पड़ी है... कहीं  नहीं जाती."

 

 

 

दोस्त के घर पंहुचा , तो मूझे देखते ही चोंक   पड़ा ,

उसने पूछा : "कैसे आना हुआ ?"

अब तक तो मुझे भी आदत  पड़ गई थी ,

मैंने भी जवाब दिया: "ट्रेन से."

 

 

 

मेरी अओभागत  करने के लिए दोस्त ने अपनी बीवी से कहा:

" अरी  सुनती  हो... मेरा दोस्त पहली  बार घर आया है ,

  उसे कुछ ताज़ा  ताज़ा खिलाओ ."

सुनते ही भाभी जी ने घर की सारी 

खिध्कियाँ   और दरवाजे  खोल  दिए.

कहा: "ताजी   हवा  खा  लीजिये."

 

 

 

दोस्त ने फिर से बडे  प्यार से बीवी से कहा:

" अरी  सुनती हो , इन्हे जरा अपना चालीस  साल पुराना आचार  तो दिखाना."

भाभी जी  एक बाल्टी  मे रखा आचार ले आई.

मैंने भी अपनापन  दिखाते  हुए भाभी जी से कहा:

" भाभी जी , आचार सिर्फ़ दिखाएंगी , चाखायेंगी नही ?"

भाभी जी ने टाक से  जवाब दिया: "यूँही  अगर  सब  को 

चखाती तो आचार चालीस साल पुराना कैसे होता ?"

 

 

 

थोडी  देर बाद देखा , भाभी जी

अपने पोते  को सुला  रही  थी ,

साथ मे लोरी  भी गा  रही थी:

" डिप्लोमा  सो जा , डिप्लोमा सो जा."

लोरी सुन में हैरान  हुआ और दोस्त से पूछा:

" यार , ये डिप्लोमा क्या है ?"

दोस्त ने जवाब दिया: "मेरे पोते   का नाम ,

बेटी बम्बई गई थी , डिप्लोमा लेने के लिए

और साथ में इसे ले आई ,

इसीलिए  हमने इसका नाम डिप्लोमा रख दिया."

फिर मैंने पूंछा: "आजकल  तुम्हारी बेटी क्या कर रही है ?"

दोस्त ने जवाब दिया: "बम्बई गई है , डिग्री लेने के लिए

 

Contribution For Boss

 

Contribution for Boss     Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time..... Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss" They're asking for a Rs.500 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire. We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection." One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average? .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. "About 1 litre."