Management Lesson (very funny)

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and she fell to the ground into a large field.

While she was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on her.

As the frozen bird laid there in the pile of cow dung, she began to realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing her out!

She lays there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat hears the bird singing and comes to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug her out and ate her.

Morals of the story:
[1] Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
[2] Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
[3] And when you are in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Story, which is prefectly logical to Males

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

(I'm sure you're going back to read it again!)

Technical Support --Funny

 

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?  Customer: A white one.  ...............................    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD out !!!  Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?  Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.  Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.  Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet. It's still on my desk . . . Sorry. Thank you.  ...............................    Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the left of the screen.  Customer: Your left or my left?  ...............................    Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?  Male Customer: Hi .. . . I can't print.  Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and . .  Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates!!!  ...............................    Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND PRINTER'. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it!!!  ...............................    Customer: I have problems printing in red.  Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?  Customer: Aaaah . . . . . .. . . . . Thank you.  ...............................    Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?  Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.  ...............................    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.  Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?  Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.  Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.  Customer: Okay..  Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?  Customer: Yes.  Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?  Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . .. . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.  ...............................    Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.  Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?..

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Some Amazing Lines...!

 

Some Amazing Lines...!     A true quote:   If silence is meant to be the best for all situations...then why we all get so hurt when people don't talk to us??   ********************   One of the very true & greatest illusions of life is that....   "we always believe there is more time in tomorrow then today"   ********************   We work for making better tomorrow   But when tomorrow comes instead of enjoying again we start thinking for better tomorrow.   Thts life   ********************   When we were small we laughed less   But there was infinite hidden happiness as we grow up we learn to laugh more to hide the unspoken sadness   ********************   Perfect pearl:   Rememeber that no one will understand you perfectly in life   Just give credit to those who have atleast tried to do it...   ********************   A heart dies when it is not able to share its feelings..   But a heart kills itself when another heart doesn't understands its feelings....   ********************   Loving someone doesn't need a reason   If u can explain why u love someone it's called 'like'   If u can't explain it's simply called 'love'   ********************   Heart melting words:   Tears will'nt come when u miss a person,   It comes when u don't want to miss a person....just feel it!!!   ********************   Beautiful truth against gravity:   The heart feels light when someone is in it.   But it feels very heavy when someone leaves it......   ********************   Sharing problems & asking for help doesn't mean that we are weak or incompetent,   It usually indicates an advanced level of trust.......   ********************   Walking alone is not difficult...   But when we walked a mile with someone, then coming back alone is more difficult....   ********************   A very nice observation:   The world's best friends never have the same nature   They just have the best 'understanding' of their 'differences'   ********************   Don't judge a person by what other's say   The person may be true to you but not to others   Because the same sun which melts the ice hardens the clay too..   ********************   Don't feel bitter that people remember you only when they need you