Weight Loss program

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.

This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Lesson for all Salaried People (funny story!)

A shopkeeper watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop, He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back inside again. So he goes over to the dog and notices that it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 soaps and a shampoo bottle, please. The money is with the dog." The shopkeeper looks inside the dogs mouth and to his surprise there is a 500 rupees note in his mouth. So he takes the money and puts the soap, shampoo and change in a bag, and then places it in the dogs mouth.

The shopkeeper is so impressed, and since it is the closing time, he decides to follow the dog. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to the zebra crossing, he waits till the signal turns green. He walks across the road till the bus stop. He waits on the stop and looks up the timetable for the bus. The shopkeeper is totally out of his mind as the dog gets into the bus and sits on a vacant seat. The shopkeeper follow the dog. The dog waits for the conductor to come to his seat. He gives the change to the conductor and shows him the neck belt to keep the ticket. The shopkeeper is almost fainting at this sight and so are the other people in the bus.

The dog then moves to the front exit of the door and waits for the bus stop to arrive, looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight he wags his tail to inform the driver to stop. Then not even waiting for the bus stop to arrive the dog jumps out and runs to the house nearby. It opens an big iron gate and rushes towards the door. As it approaches the door, he changes his mind and walks towards the garden. The dog walks up to the window and beats his head several times on the window. It then walks back to the door and waits. The shopkeeper maintaining his senses walks up to the door and watched a big guy open the door.

The guy starts beating, kicking and abusing the dog. The shopkeeper is surprised and runs to stop the guy. The shopkeeper questions the guy "What in the heaven are you doing? The dog is a genius he could be famous in life."

The guy responds "You call this clever? This is the 3rd time in this week that the dog has forgotten the door keys."

The moral of the story: "You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations, but will always fall short of the boss' expectation"

The salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

 

Isaac's Strange rule of staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. And food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Why Women Cry

Why Women Cry
Watch her eyes ♥

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

... "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Father Travelling with his Son.. Beautiful Story

An old man was traveling with his 25 yr old son in the train.

Train is about to leave the station. All passengers are settling down their seat.

As train started young man was filled with lot of joy and curiosity.

He was sitting on the window side.

He went out one hand and feeling the passing air. He shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind".

Old man smile and admired son feelings.

Beside the young man one couple was sitting and listing all the conversion between father and son.

They were little awkward with the attitude of 25 yr old man behaving like a small child.

Suddenly young man again shouted, "Papa see the pond and animals. Clouds are moving with train"

Couple was watching the young man in embarrassingly.

Now its start raining and some of water drops touches the young man's hand.

He filled with joy and he closed the eyes.

He shouted again, "Papa it's raining, water is touching me, see papa".

Father was happy!

Couple couldn't help themselves and ask the old man, "Why don't you visit the Doctor and get treatment for your son."

Old man said, "Yes, we are coming from the hospital; my son was born blind and today only he got the eye sight for the first time".

Moral: Don't draw conclusions until you know all the facts.

Simple Comments May Destroy Honor (nice story)

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After he was released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge: "They were just comments, they were not meant to harm anyone."

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: "Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home; throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence."

The next day, the judge told the old man: "Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday."

The old man said: "I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them."

The judge then replied: "The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything."

Moral: Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.

Jokes

An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you're 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?"

The woman replied, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… "How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?"

The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice, and I sleep better at night."

---

"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."

---

3 guys were riding in a car: a hardware technician, a systems analyst, and a programmer. The systems analyst is driving and when they come to a steep hill he finds that the brakes have failed and the car is accelerating out of control.

So, the driver pumps the emergency brake, downshifts the gears, and rubs the wheels' rims against the curb. He finally wrestles the car to a stop. The three climb out and assess the situation.

Hardware tech: "Let's try and fix it. I'll crawl under the car and take a look. "

Systems analyst: "No. I think we should get someone qualified to fix it, a specialist in brakes."

Programmer: "Why don't we just get back in and see if it happens again?"

---

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

The Other Side of Africa

The Other Side of Africa
For years (and still) Europeans and Americans call the African continent as Dark Continent. But poverty and food crisis is not the African monopoly. These two remain major problems in many parts of the world. On the positive side, Africa is also bestowed with great wealth and jaw-dropping natural wonders that are worth seeing. Like many Asian, European and American countries, Africa too have areas dominated by the rich and wealthy men. Here are some of the pics from different parts of Africa that may compel you to change the image that you carry in your mind. Mansion in Gabon South Africa Accra , Ghana Cape Town , South Africa Cape Town again Angola Reunion Island South, Eastern Africa Reunion Island South Eastern Africa Lybia Algeria Bejaia , Algeria - North Africa This is where the equator pass thru in Sao Tome Island , West Africa Road to Lubango , Angola Housing estate in Accra , Ghana Cabo Verde , Cape Verde Obudu Resort , Nigeria If you thought the houses in Ghana where spectacular then you will be speechless with this house in Nigeria. A Mansion under construction in Nigeria Row houses in Nigeria House in Abuja , Nigeria Seychelles Island Kampala , Uganda South Africa Aerial view of Annobon Island , Equitorial Guinea ......beautiful Yes, we also enjoy ourselves on the weekend and dont languish in poverty Presidential Palace , Ghana Mansion in Trasacco Valley , Accra-Ghana....where the wealthy live House in Accra-Ghana President Obama and his African roots President Obama in his African roots Tunisia Tunis , Tunisia Harare International Airport , Zimbabwe River Nile in Egypt Bush in Rwanda Alexandria , Egypt Nairobi , Kenya Nairobi , Kenya . Windsor Golf and Country Club with Nairobi skyline in the background Hilton Hotel, Yaounde-Cameroon Event being hosted in Ghana . In Ghanaian Tradition a royal is carried by four bearers in a seat as you see in this picture A hotel in Khartoum , Sudan The cable cars at the beach in Durban , South Africa Regular Occurrence: A sandstorm over Khartoum , Sudan . After all , it is a city in the desert... Aerial view of Khartoum , Sudan The Wavehouse at Gateway Mall, Durban , South Africa , we really have that in Canada Mall in South Africa Canal Walk Mall in Cape Town , South Africa . One of the largest malls in the Southern Hemisphere and one of SA's mega malls. (125 000m2) Canal Walk Mall in Cape Town , South Africa . One of the largest malls in the Southern Hemisphere and one of SA's mega malls. (125 000m2) Canal Walk Mall in Cape Town , South Africa . One of the largest malls in the Southern Hemisphere and one of SA's mega malls. (125 000m2) Cairo - Egypt Cairo - Egypt Hurghada - Egypt National Stadium-Dares Salaam in Tanzania with the practice field right outside City of Dares Salaam-Tanzania Beyonce shakin' her leg as usual in Tanzania ! Church in Abuja , Nigeria Mansion in South Africa Bloukrans Bridge , South Africa Port Elizabeth , South Africa Mall in Nairobi , Kenya More Niarobi Village Market, Nairobi Holiday spot in Mombasa , Kenya Kakum National Park GHANA ! Serena Hotel ( Kampala , Uganda ) Pink Lake , the only one in the world, Senegal Cape Town - South Africa The Gambia The Gambia sick house The great Ethiopian run MAN YOU'D HAVE TO BE FIT TO DEATH TO PARTICIPATE Eastgate mall Harare Zimbabwe Gold Reef City ! South Africa City of the Sun! South Africa Gilloolys interchange, Johannesburg, south africa A small island on Lake Victoria , Kenya Glacier near the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro , Tanzania (and they said u couldnt see snow in Africa !) Mauritius Island Drummers Horn Blowers Traditional Ghanaian Drummers open for the African Cup of Nations(CAN 2008) in Accra , Ghana African design architecture, Cameroon The Palms, Lagos , Nigeria Windhoek , Namibia Windhoek , Namibia . was colonized by Germany . see the influence? SEYCHELLES Islands lodge House in Ghana House in Gambia SUN CITY , South Africa Palace of the Lost City in SUN CITY , South Africa (Africa's answer to Las Vegas ) Johannesburg , South Africa aka 'Egoli', the wealthiest city in Africa Downtown Johannesburg , South Africa A house in a quiet Accra Suburb ( Ghana ) The richest city in Africa ( Sandton Square ) in Johannesburg , South Africa New buildings in Gaborone , Botswana Mansions in Gaborone , Botswana House in Accra , Ghana The biggest church building in the world. Cathedral in Yamassoukro , Ivory Coast ( Cote D'Ivoire ) Resort in Gambia White sands Resort , Kenya Trasacco Valley Estates in Accra, Ghana (where the rich live) Apartment living on Victoria Island , Lagos-Nigeria Middle class housing in Ikoyi, Lagos-Nigeria Apartment building in Lagos , Nigeria This road is called Devils Elbow in Cross River State , Nigeria (it leads to a Ranch/Resort) Al-Fatih Hotel in Khartoum , Sudan Benghazi , Libya Middle class suburb in Rwanda Pretoria , South Africa Cape Town , South Africa Ilheu das Rolas Resort, Sao Tome and Principe (off the coast of western Africa ) Main shopping street in Windhoek , Namibia (Southern Africa ) Cairo , Egypt (Northern Africa)
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