Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Humour Story.............

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a
test.

"You are employed."

He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."


I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that
means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only
$10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return
late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.


5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US.


He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life
insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the
conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"


The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at
Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:


M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.


M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.


M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy,than a millionaire..........

**Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my
email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Smiling after reading is not mandatory!!!!


Aur ek story ....


AIK tha raja















AIK thi rani











dono mar gay khatm kahani .............................



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Saturday, March 17, 2007

More More Galib

Kyon apni kabar khod raha hai Galib...
Kyon apni kabar khod raha hai Galib...
La, phawda mujhe de.

NONSENSE ....

Yeh aankhen hai ya neeli jheel?
Yeh aankhen hai ya neeli jheel?
So? What's the big deal?

Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain......

JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!

mujhe phir wahi yaad aane lage hain
mujhe phir wahi yaad aane lage hain
mujhe...
kyon infinite loop me dal rahe hai??

AD...

Mein tere pyar mein paagal hua chhaliye
Mein tere pyar mein paagal hua chhaliye,
Iodex maliye kaam pe chaliye

Tum har raat mere khwabon mein aao,
Tum har raat mujhe yuunhi satao,
Melody khao khud jaan jao.

Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Lifebouy hai jahan, tandurusti hai wahan

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne mujhe pita
Tan ki shakti, man ki shakti, Bournvita

THODA SENSE ....

Jo pyaali mein mazaa woh Thaali mein kahan
Jo saali se mazaa gharwaali se kahan.

Sharab Mat pee galib masjid mein baith kar...
Sharab Mat pee galib masjid mein baith kar...
Ek hi botal hai, kahin khuda na mang le.

DOOR SE DEKHA ...

Door se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi...
Dooor se dekhaaa... to kuchh dikha nahi...
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahi

Door se dekha to Patthhar dikhta tha...
Dooor se dekha... to Patthharr dikhtaa thaa...
Paas jake dekha to... suchmuch Patthhar hi thaa.

Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Paas gaya... to bheeg gaya.

Door se dekha to sher tha
Door se dekha to sher tha
Is liye paas gaya hi naihn.


Door se Dekha to ganje uchak rahe thea
Door se Dekha to ganje uchak rahe thea
Pass jake dekha to unde ubal rahe the..

More Galib

Ladka bola :
kash in hasinao ke baap mar jate,
kash in hasinao ke baap mar jate,
bahana gham ka hota, hum inke ghar to aate.
Ladki boli:
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga,
kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.


Ladki boli:
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,
Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.
Ladka bola :
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,
Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.

Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achhi hai,
Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achhi hai,
Dil jalati hai, par hoto se to lagti hai.

Voh Sadak Ke Us Paar Thi Hum Sadak Ke Is Paar The
Kuch Hum Aage Badhe, Kuch Voh Aage Badhi
Hum Kuch Aur Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Kuch Aur Aage Badhi
Hum Aur Bhi Aage Badhe, Voh Bhi Aur Aage Badhi
Ab Hum Sadak Ke Us Paar Hein, Aur Voh Sadak Ke Is Paar Hein.

Tum pucho aur hum na bata ye aise to halat nahi,
Bas jara sa dil tuta hai aur koi bat nahi.

Mai akela hi chala tha janibemanzil ki taraf,
Log aate gaye aur karwa banta gaya.

Kya hamari daur ke kuch pine wale uth gaye,
Aaj khali kyo lag rahe hai paimane kai.


Tum aa gaye ho ; Noor aa gaya hai
Chalo teeno picture challe.....


Door se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi......
Dooor se dekhaaa.. to kuchh dikha nahi....
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahi.

Galibbbbbbbbbbb

Itni raat gaye Kyon apni qabra khod raha hai Galib
Itni raat gaye kyon apni qabara khod raha hai Galib
La, phawda mujhe de de !!


Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main, badi josh ke sath!
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha jindgi main, badi shor ke sath!
Aab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath !
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath !


Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hain.


Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Hawa hi hawa hai.


Na jane ashk se aakho me kyo hai aaye hue,
Gujar gaya hai jamana tuzhe bhula ye huye.


Jo hamse tum n mile to kuch hum mar na gaye,
Kahne ko bat rehe gayi aur din gujar gaye.


Dil woh nagar nahi ki phir aabad ho sake,
Pachtawoge suno ye basti ujad ke.


Janaje ko woh mere rukwa ke bole,
ye launtenge kab tak, kaha ja rahe ho.


Koi aahat koi aawaz koi chah nahi,
Dil ki galiya badi sunsan hai aaye koi.


Khushi se aag laga o es muhalle me,
Mera makan hi nahi tumhara ghar bhi hai.


Pahle to khushi me bhi nikal aate the aasu,
Aab ranj bhi hota hai to rona nahi aata.


Kata samaz kar hamse n daman bacha e ye,
Gujri hui bahar ki ek yadgar hu.


Bechaini ya samet ke sare zaha ki,
Jab kuch n ban saka to mera dil bana diya.

Shayaries

Doobe hua hamare sitare hain,
Kya gam hi naseeb mein hamare hain?
Tair rahe hain thak kar bhi,
Isi ummed mein ke dariya-e-gham ke bhi kahin kinaare hain,
Jaane kab khushi ka saamnaa hoga,
Jahan tak nazar jaati hai bas bebasi ke hi nazaare hain….
hum sirf aapke sahaare hai…… hum sirf aapke sahaare hai..

log har mod pe ruk ruk ke sambhalte kyun hain,
itna darte hain to phir ghar se nikalte kyun hain.
main na jugnu hun diya hun na koi tara hun,
roshni wale mere nam se jalte kyun hain.
nind se mera talluq hi nahin barson se,
khwab aake meri chat pe tahalte kyun hain.
mod hota hai jawani ka sambhalne ke liye,
aur sab log yahin ake phisalte kyun hain.

Mohabbat me hum mashoor kya huwe..
har harkat humari deewangi lagnay lagi..
lafz jo niklay haal-e-dil ka bayan karne ,
zamane ko har wo baat shahyari lagnay lagi

Ghalib sun! yeh duniya hai… duniya!,

duniya meiN ghum chhupanA padta hai,

dil main chahe lakh ghum ho,

mehfil meiN muskarAna hi padta hai

AshkoN ko humne kayi baar roka,

phir bhi na jane kyoN ankheN dhoka de gayi,

Bharosa to tha hameiN apne aap par magar,

unka zikr aate hi naa jane kyoN palkeN nam ho gayi.

Dilon se khelne ka hunar hume nahi aata

Isiliye ishq ki baazi hum haar gaye

Meri zindagi se shayad unhe bahut pyar tha

Isiliye mujhe zinda hi maar gaye….

Raat ankho me dhaLi palkon par jugnu aye
hum hawao ki tarah jakar use chuh aye
usne chuh kar mujhe pathar se insan kiya
mudhaton baad meri ankho me ansu aye

Zindagi mein ek haseen galti kar baithe

Hum nadani mein pyar kar baithe

Dil ko apne khud thokar maar baithe

Ek bewafaa se murhum ki umeed kar baithe

Barbaad kar gaye woh zindagi pyaar ke naam pe,
Bewafai mili hume wafa ke naam pe,
Aise zakham de gaye woh dawa ke naam pe,
Khuda bhi ro pada meri mohobbat ke anjaam pe!!!!!!!!!!

Kadam - Kadam pe hawaon se taalluk rakhna
Dost ke daur pe dosti ka asra rakhna
Hamari yaadon ki khusboo jarur aayegi
Bas apne dil ka darwaza khula rakhna!!


Doobe hua hamare sitare hain,
Kya gam hi naseeb mein hamare hain?
Tair rahe hain thak kar bhi,
Isi ummed mein ke dariya-e-gham ke bhi kahin kinaare hain,
Jaane kab khushi ka saamnaa hoga,
Jahan tak nazar jaati hai bas bebasi ke hi nazaare hain….
hum sirf aapke sahaare hai…… hum sirf aapke sahaare hai..

 

 

log har mod pe ruk ruk ke sambhalte kyun hain,
itna darte hain to phir ghar se nikalte kyun hain.
main na jugnu hun diya hun na koi tara hun,
roshni wale mere nam se jalte kyun hain.
nind se mera talluq hi nahin barson se,
khwab aake meri chat pe tahalte kyun hain.
mod hota hai jawani ka sambhalne ke liye,
aur sab log yahin ake phisalte kyun hain.

 

 

Mohabbat me hum mashoor kya huwe..
har harkat humari deewangi lagnay lagi..
lafz jo niklay haal-e-dil ka bayan karne ,
zamane ko har wo baat shahyari lagnay lagi

 

 

Ghalib sun! yeh duniya hai… duniya!,

duniya meiN ghum chhupanA padta hai,

dil main chahe lakh ghum ho,

mehfil meiN muskarAna hi padta hai

 

 

AshkoN ko humne kayi baar roka,

phir bhi na jane kyoN ankheN dhoka de gayi,

Bharosa to tha hameiN apne aap par magar,

unka zikr aate hi naa jane kyoN palkeN nam ho gayi.

 

 

Dilon se khelne ka hunar hume nahi aata

Isiliye ishq ki baazi hum haar gaye

Meri zindagi se shayad unhe bahut pyar tha

Isiliye mujhe zinda hi maar gaye….

 

Raat ankho me dhaLi palkon par jugnu aye
hum hawao ki tarah jakar use chuh aye
usne chuh kar mujhe pathar se insan kiya
mudhaton baad meri ankho me ansu aye

 

 

 

Zindagi mein ek haseen galti kar baithe

Hum nadani mein pyar kar baithe

Dil ko apne khud thokar maar baithe

Ek bewafaa se murhum ki umeed kar baithe

 

 

Barbaad kar gaye woh zindagi pyaar ke naam pe,
Bewafai mili hume wafa ke naam pe,
Aise zakham de gaye woh dawa ke naam pe,
Khuda bhi ro pada meri mohobbat ke anjaam pe!!!!!!!!!!

Kadam - Kadam pe hawaon se taalluk rakhna
Dost ke daur pe dosti ka asra rakhna
Hamari yaadon ki khusboo jarur aayegi
Bas apne dil ka darwaza khula rakhna!!



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


--

Thursday, March 15, 2007

More Dard Bhari Shayaries

Mere janaje main usse naa bulana,
Mohaabat ki tauhin hogi...
main 4 logo ke khandho par jaa raha hounga,
or meri jaan..meri jaan....paidal chal rahi hogi..!!!

Jaan kar bhi woh Mujhe jaan na paaye,
Aaj tak woh Mujhe pehchaan na paaye,
Khud hi kar li bewafai humne,
taaki unpar koi ilzaam na aaye…

Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hain,
Hum hain ki unse pyar kiya karte hain,
Khuda ne takdir me ek tuta tara nahi likha,
Aur hum hain ki chaand ki aarzu kiya karte hain …

milna itifaak tha bicharna naseeb tha
wo utna he door ho gaye jitna kareeb tha
hum usko dekhne k liye taraste he rahe
jis shaks ki hatheli pe hamara naseeb tha

Driving Styles

Driving Styles ...
One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window .
- Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn
- Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly onaccelerator...
- Boston
Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake,quivering in terror

- New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turnedto talk to someone in back seat
- Italy

One hand on horn,
one hand on holding gear,
one ear listening to loud music,
one ear on cell phone,
one foot on accelerator,
one foot on clutch ,
nothing on brake ,
eyes on females in next car ,
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
- Welcome to INDIA !!!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Shri RAM's letter to SITA in Punjabi

Shri RAM's letter to SITA in Punjabi
Dear SITA
Main itthe raji khushi se han and hope ke tu v theek thaak hovengi, Laxman
tannu bahut yaad karda hai. Main is bandar de hath tannu chitthi bhej reha
haan, tu tension na layi main bahut jaldi tenu ravan kolochura lavanga.
Main AIRTEL da prepaid le liya hai, RAVAN nu main mobile te bhot GAALIYAAN
kadiya te SAALE ne katt ditta, Chal koi ni main aana ta hai. Taan KUTUNGA
saale KANJAR nu. Main tere naal bhi ek AIRTEL ka prepaid bhej riya si usme
1500 SMS free wali scheme ha, Tu roz meinu SMS kari.
Accha OK
See Uuuu.
With Luv
Dashrath da Vadda Puttar "RAM

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Don't Laugh - Urdu Shayaries

Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,
Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye...
Light chali gayi,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye....

Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.
Thoda sa tum chalo, thoda sa main...
Phir rikshaa kar lenge..

Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge..
Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me,
To Reliance ki kasam DELHI me bhi Tajmahal bana denge..

Bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara, bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara
Abbbbe oyeee phir kya hua
Bakri ne bhi bakre ko seeng maar diya

Tu ne mere man se khela,
Tu ne mere tan se khela,
Tu ne mere dil se khela,
Tu ne mere Dhan se khela,
Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela.....
Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)


Wo hamari zindagi main kuchh is tarah se aaye.
Wo hamari zindagi main kuch is tarah se aaye.
Jaise hare bhare khet main Bhais ghus jaye.

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita

Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!

Aasman mein char tare
Aasman mein char tare
Do tumhare do hamare

Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

Celebration Means....!!



Celebration means......

Four friends.
Bahar barsaat.
Four glasses of beer.


Celebration means......
Hundred bucks of petrol.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.


Celebration means......
Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 a.m.


Celebration means......
3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.


Celebration means......
Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.



Celebration means......
You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.


You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,


but to celebrate
all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones.
Keep in touch with your loved ones ........

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Funny Pictures..Must watch Them..!!!

I would Rather HOLD IT..















Amazing Shoes....!!!




















Wonderful Clouds..















OOPS....!! TOO BIG FOR ME..!!













Naughty Children





BUILT IN AIRBAGS


Thursday, March 8, 2007

For Painting Lovers




7 secrets of success


Google Aaarti..(see how much google helps)

Om Jai Google Hare Swami
Jai Google HareProgrammers Ke Sankat,
Developers Ke Sankat,
Click Main Door Kare!!
Om Jai Google Hare !!
Jo Dhyawe Vo Pawe,
Dukh Bin Se Man Ka,
Swami Dukh Bin Se Man Ka,
Homepage Ki Sampatti Lawe,
Homework Ki Sampatti Karave
Kasht Mite Work Ka,
Swami Om Jai Google Hare!!
Tum Puran Seach Engine Tum Hi Internet Yaami,
Swami Tum Hi Internet Yaami Par Karo Hamari Salari,
Par Karo Hamari Apprisal, Tum Dunia Ke Swami,
Swami Om Jai Google Hare. Tum Information Ke Saagar ,
Tum Palan Karta, Swami Tum Palan Karta,
Main Moorakh Khalkamii ,
Main Searcher Tum Server-Ami Tum Karta Dhartaa !!
Swami Om Jai Google Hare!!Din Bandhu Dukh Harta,
Tum Rakshak Mere,
Swami Tum Thakur Mere,
Apni Search Dikhaao,
Sare Reasearch KaraoSite Par Khada Mein Tere,
Swami Om Jai Google Hare!!
Google Devta Ki Aarti Jo Koi Programmer Gaawe,
Swami Jo Koi Bhi Programmer Gaawe,
Kehet SUN Swami,
MS Hari Har Swami,
Manwaanchhit Fal Paawe.
Swami Om Jai Google Hare.


koi lauta de wo college ke din..!!!

Yeh Degree bhi lelo,
Yeh Naukri bhi lelo,
Bhale mujhse lelo woh US ka Visa,
Magar mujhko lauta do school ki canteen,
Woh Teekha Samosa,
Woh thanda saaa paani…..
Woh school ki sabse - purani nishaanee,
Woh chai vaalaa jisko - saare kehte the... jaani,
Woh jaani ke hathon - ki 'cutting' chai meethi,
Woh chup-kese journal - mein jo bheji thi chitthi,
Woh padhte hi chitthi - tha uska bhadakna,
Woh chehre ki laali, woh aankhon kaa gussaa ©...
Woh teekha samosa, woh thanda saaa paani………..
Kadi dhoop mein - apni room se nikalnaa,Woh project ki Khatir -
tha dar dar bhataknaa ,Woh classroom mein doston - ki watt lagaanaa,
Woh mam ko chidana, aeroplane udaanaa,
Woh submission ki raton - ko jagna jagaanaa,
Woh vivas ke kisse, woh pracs ki kahani....Woh teekha samosa,
woh thanda saaa paani

Ultimate Funny Shayaries

Ladka: Kaash in hasinaaon kay baap mar jayen'
Bahana ho afsos ka hum inke ghar to jayen
Ladki: Aisa sochna bhi aye zalim paap hoga
Kabhi tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga



Kutta ban gaya hoon tere pyaar main
yakeen nahin aata to suno...Bhow..bhow


Aaj Tu Kali Hai, Kal Gulab Hoga
Mujh Se Shadi Kar Le, Bara Sawaab Hoga


Ladki: Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Mohabaat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
Ladka: Chandni chand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga
Mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga
Maine tujhe pyar kiya, saraswati samajh kar
Tere baap ne mujhe pita, agarbattti samajh kar
Milna hai to mil
isee duniya ke chaman main
Phir kya milna hoga,
Jab laaash hogi kaphan main
Maine tujhe dekha,
handle badal badal kar
Tere baap ne mujhe peeta,
sandle badal badal kar


Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai
Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai